Summer According to Sandra: Ladies, Late Nights and Lipstick

Lipstick lesbianism, far from being a forgotten 90′s trend, is reaching a new level of boob-flaunting, Baywatch -style hyper-femininity. Swing by Meow Mix (269 East Houston Street) and see for yourself. Gorgeous, busty femmes fatales can be seen sitting on the knees of their stone-butch lovers with names like Cliff and Burt.

Sandra Bernhard, a lesbian who’s looking hotter than ever, is the poster slut for the newly eroticized lipstick chick-literally. Sandra is the image, spokes-icon and creator of Pool Party, a new collection of makeup from MAC available at all MAC locations starting May 9.

“I researched these products for years,” said Sandra in between rehearsals for the upcoming tour of her one-woman show, Hero Worship , which kicks off in June. “MAC flew me round the world-to Gstaad and the Riviera, wherever beauty awaits poolside. I talked to women about beauty and matched my shade cards to the colors of their beautiful, tanned physiques. That’s how I created my hues.”

The Pool Party raspberry-colored lipstick ($14) is a tad dressy: Sandra explains, sort of, “It’s all about summer power.”

I recommend the clam-pink Sandy B. lipstick which, as per the spokesmodel, “is all trade winds and late-night make-out sessions-very sexy, always ready for action, which is just how I feel.”

The other winner in the line is a beige frosted “sheer color extract” eye/cheek tint called Belly Flop, which Sandra tells me she extracted herself from rare Brazilian plants. “I created it for a girl who’s smoking a butt and drinking a beer and getting really badly sunburnt.”

Sandra also has a great spiel for the nail polish, which is not surprising since she once trained as a manicurist at the Charles Ross Beauty School in Los Angeles: Mint Julep, a metallic pale teal, is “perfect for the girl who is lax with manicures-she’s covered in hangnails and all her edges are jagged.” Coral Gables, a pearly copper, is “for a girl who grew up poor in Brooklyn and is making it really big.”

Speaking of Brooklyn: Sandra, like many of the great beauty czarinas before her-Helena Rubenstein, Estée Lauder, etc.-is a proud Jewess. “We Jewish girls have always had an innate connection to the world of glamour,” Sandra said. “It’s a reaction against all the dowdy shtetls and sheitels .” Those of you salivating to get an eyeful of Sandra’s unique brand of sassy Sapphic glamour are going to be disappointed: Hero Worship , which Sandra calls “a 9/11 exploration,” has no scheduled dates in Manhattan.

Explains Sandra, “If New York wants me, New York is going to have to beg.”