Eight Day Week

Wednesday 11th

City takes deep breath today and tries to figure out how to handle the anniversary of the terrorist attacks: Think bagpipes, drums, candle light ceremonies, molto Giuliani, moments of silence (scripted and not), fraught therapy sessions, too much merlot in Tribeca restaurants, and feeling weird and queasy about doing anything except huddling on the sofa watching offensively soundtracked TV montages until your eyes turn red and bleary. By the way, speaking of Tribeca, has anyone else noticed how residents of the ritzy neighborhood seem to be seizing a disproportionate amount of Sept. 11 pity, considering how few of them actually worked at the World Trade Center?

[Many museums are open and free today, but then you run the risk of running into that new, offensive breed: the "9/11 tourist."]

Thursday 12 th

Street-fair alert: The Feast of San Gennaro , one of the many things that went haywire last year, returns to Little Italy with high-school marching bands and saucy cheerleaders , lots of Atkins-diet-blowing fried dough and the inevitable Sopranos tie-in: a performance from Dominic Chianese , who plays Uncle Junior (hey, if you can’t get Dr. Melfi!). Beware merchants hawking tacky 9/11 merch benefiting dubious charities.

[Blessing of the Stands, 6 p.m., Mulberry Street, between Canal and East Houston, 11:30 a.m.]

Ring around the rosies!

Nobody’s ready to rejoin the official “social whirl” tonight -except a bunch of rich people with III’s after their names who will swathe themselves in pink chiffon for a rose-themed dinner-dance up in the Bronx. What your $500-and-up ticket benefits: the Peggy Rockefeller Rose Garden , which has more than 250 cultivated varieties. It sure must smell sweet up there! Meanwhile, all the way back downtown, an exhibit opens of obscure Warhol, Warhol’s Forgotten Female and Flowers . Are these Andy’s outtakes? “Sort of, but sort of not ,” said gallery owner Kristine Woodward. “Because they happen to be unbelievable. We have daisies-Warhol’s not really known for daisies, he’s known for poppies-we have the Tacoma flower, we have the Kiku flower. Everybody is so fixated on the Campell’s soup, that kind of work, but we wanted to introduce a whole new level of Warhol.” What it will cost us: $5,000 to $25,000-”and that’s reasonable!”

[Rose Garden Dinner Dance, Peggy Rockefeller Rose Garden at the New York Botanical Garden, Bronx River Parkway at Fordham Road, cocktails 6 p.m., dinner and dancing to follow, 718-817-8775; Warhol's Forgotten Female and Flowers , Woodward Gallery, 476 Broome Street, fifth floor, 11 a.m., 966-3411.]

Friday 13th

Friday the 13th?! Spooky ! Who’s brave enough to release a movie today? Who but those reliable Germans! Blow $10 on Das Experiment , about a psychological-research project with recruits divided into “prisoners” who have to obey the rules and the “guards” keeping order-this is what passes for reality television in Germany. Actor Moritz Bleibtreu ( Run Lola Run ) stars as a journalist who goes undercover to impress his editor. (We just bring ours Frappucinos …. ) In aforementioned Tribeca, HBO -which seems a little high on its horse lately-begins another festival, with piles and piles of documentaries. Tonight you can “mingle” with filmmaker Alexandra Pelosi , who traveled around with George Bush on thecampaign trail for her little movie, Journeys with George . Or put on a

derbyand grab your best fella for the William Wyler festival at the Film Forum

( Roman Holiday , The Little Foxes ,

The Best Years of Our Lives , etc.).

[ Das Experiment , 777-FILM, HBO's Frame by Frame Documentary Showcase, Screening Room, 54 Varick Street, 11 a.m., Ms. Pelosi's film screens at 7 p.m.,

512-7201; William Wyler retrospective, 209 West Houston Street, 727-8110.]

Saturday 14th

Media romances! Barrette-sportin’ Times food reporter Amanda Hesser weds frisky New Yorker writer Tad Friend , whom she dubbed “Mr. Latte,” chez the Latte family in Wainscott today (pelt them with rice) …. Also, The Observer ‘s trippy new publishing columnist-we call him “Blue Eyes” -gets hitched in a Pound Ridge farmhouse! We’re not invited to either wedding, naturally , so we’re stuck with West Chelsea’s retorts to the San Gennaro Festival: a) a street fair thrown by the Kitchen, an avant-garde arts center that we often mistake for a cooking school, with M.C. Fairy Tink (roll up your muscle shirts, boys!), and b) the Silent Project, a complicated-sounding “live performance event” inspired by that common and annoying experience of riding the F train crammed next to blaring headphones- D.J.’s (no Ronson sisters), subsonic speakers, infrared emitters …. Co-producer Kevin McHugh promised lots of good vibrations. “We’ll be pumping frequencies below the level that your ear can detect,” he said. “Your skin and your organs will all vibrate. ” Oh, boy.

[Kitchen street fair, 19th Street between 10th and 11th avenues, 2 p.m., 255-5793, ext. 10; Silent Project, 540 West 21st Street, noon, 252-5193.]

Clip-clop, clip-clop …. Harvard-Yale charity Polo Cup today! We think it goes something like this: Drink, hop on a private train to Greenwich, then a bus to some farm , drink , listen to some a cappella group in bow ties, drink , line up at the trough for a buffet lunch, drink , watch banker guys on horses, drink , stomp the divots at halftime (whatever that means), cheer for gutsy Gore in-law and horsy babe Ashley Schiff -one of the few women who do this silly sport- drink …

[Polo Express leaves Grand Central at 12:07 p.m., supposedly you have to be a Harvard or Yale alum but we bet they'll take your money, 646-435-5145.]

Sunday 15th

Will Kathleen Turner nude up? Fifty thousand spectators are expected at Broadway on Broadway , a big razzle-dazzle spectacular today with Molly Ringwald , Ms. Turner and other blowsy stars doing their “numbers,” plus reviews from the season’s new musicals, which apparently include a musical version of Urban Cowboy ?! Giddy-yup, girlfriend! P.S.: Where’s Debra Winger when you need her?

[Times Square, entire environs will be affected, 11:30 a.m.]

Monday 16th

Yom Kippur?! … But we’re still getting over the Rosh Hashana fight! No eating, drinking, anointing with lotions or “marital relations” today for Manhattan’s observant Jews, which means someone ‘s going to be very crank -y …. Unfortunately, the only other thing really happening in town today is a “free literary bash” in the financial district. Some guy from Paper magazine will do spoken-word ( shudder) , the aforementioned Dominic Chianese (see Feast of San Gennaro, above) will perform a theater piece based on The Autobiography of Klaus Kinski ; and this guy Jason Flores-Williams , a former P.R. man, will read from his novel, The Last Stand of Mr. America . “The main character, Sam, is a P.R. professional who’s at odds with what he’s doing; he sees it for how plastic and superficial it is, but he doesn’t have the courage to take a more meaningful route,” said Mr. Flores-Williams, who’s been supporting himself waiting tables at the China Grill. “It’s about a person’s attempt to individuate themselves in American society in a meaningful way. I’ll also be reading from my new novel, The Inside of Despair .” (Big sigh.) “It’s about the struggle of the American artist, in a nutshell, and what he faces. And futility. And effort . I had intense struggle trying to get published. Mr. America was rejected 40 times.” Those cretins!

[Downtown Bar, 211 Pearl Street, 8:30 p.m., 646-414-2801.]

Tuesday 17th

Two Annas battle it out: Newsweek columnist and generally perfect lady Anna Quindlen celebrates her new Oprah magnet of a novel, Blessings , with Random House executive editor and senior vice president Kate Medina and the rest of the gang! The plot: A teenage couple abandons a baby in a box at an estate called Blessings, with symbolism we’re not quite sure we catch. Bonus terrifying excerpt from page 36: “Sometimes the baby seemed to have gas, and she would lift her knees to her chest, groan and fart and groan again, then scream, then drop off for twenty minutes, then wake with a start in his arms and scream some more.” We’re guessing this will be one of those parties with guys in beards bringing tykes in little Snugglies and secretly scamming on the young, lithe females while their wives feed the babies in the bathroom.Meanwhile, downtown, Vogue editor Anna (Thumper) Wintour vice-chairs the tyke-free New Yorkers for Children benefit. Her chairs: ruffly designer Oscar de la Renta , Fairchild Publications glam man Patrick McCarthy and macrobiotic Anglophiliac Gwyneth Paltrow.

[Anna Quindlen party, someone's big fancy Park Avenue pad at the corner of 89th Street, 6 p.m., by invitation only, 940-7771; New Yorkers for Children benefit, Regent Wall Street, 55 Wall Street, 7 p.m., 921-9070.]

Wednesday 18th

Sex behind glass: Here’s one museum we won’t be taking our great-aunt Agatha to! The much-ballyhooed Museum of Sex, which explores the cultural history of the practice-and whose earnestness won’t stop it from attracting a lot of creepy men in raincoats-opens tonight with a big party and after-party with many sticky Salon , Nerve and Time Out staffers. Try to find Camille Paglia; she was on the museum’s board of advisers at one point, but mysteriously disappeared around 2000. If you can’t-or don’t care to-crash “MoSex,” how about a nice play about love? Meet former oceanographer and Newsweek science writer Vernon Church, who’s written Connections , about his bad experiences with the Internet personals. “I went on a date with one woman who did nothing but talk about how much money she made and how she doubled her salary every year for the last five years,” said the rather picky Mr. Church. “I had a rule, which was that if a woman offered to split the check with me, I always offered to pay the whole check -I’m a bit of a traditionalist. But I felt that if they didn’t even offer, it was rude. So this woman, who talked about buying a $5,000 lamp with her feng shui consultant-when the check came, she didn’t even blink … not even a twitch .” Welcome to New York, Vern! And get ready for some real theater, because Fashion Week is comin’ down the runway!

[Museum of Sex opening party, 233 Fifth

Avenue at 27th Street, 9 p.m., after-party to follow, Lotus, 409 West 14th Street, by invitation only, 465-7279; Connections , Theater for the New City, 155 First Avenue, 8 p.m., 206-1515.]