Now where were we? Ah, yes, let’s see-there ‘ s New York , whose hobbies these days include raining and being 55 degrees. There’s Friendster -the hipster’s Nerve.com -which promises to turn New York into even more of an incestuous junior high school. There’s the F.C.C., which has everyone in a panic, as if everything isn’t already owned by the same two companies ( General Electric and Bechtel , in case you were wondering.) Raines and Boyd have left the building, forcing our media reporter to (finally) shave and get a haircut for his fancy TV interviews. There’s our junior Senator , who has written one of the best novels of the year. And tonight, the do-me feminists (see New York City, circa 1990) at Bust magazine-a sort of indie, less commercial Jane- are having an anniversary bash, celebrating 10 years of first-person articles about vibrators and knitting. Hang out with editor Debbie Stoller and her fancy PhD in Chelsea at the newish Coral Room , which throws a “Skin Party” (figure it out) every Saturday and boasts a mermaid tank.
[Coral Room, 512 West 29th Street, 9 p.m. to midnight, by invitation only]
Your slutty sundress archive will come in handy tonight as you sashay to Milk Studios for a preview sale of this season’s trendiest fashions, chaired by Phylicia Rashad and Kimberly Rockefeller. “It seems like they get it right and then they just go astray!” said Ms. Rashad. “Come on, child, you know what I’m talking about. I didn’t like those clunky-heeled shoes from a few years ago. And I don’t like those pointy-toe things, either. I was just on Madison Avenue and I saw all those young ladies walking around in those shoes, and all I can think is: Bunion City, comin’ up!” Celeb wattage : mannequins Bridget Hall , Carmen Kass and new bride Christy Turlington (no word on whether she’s hyphenating ), the not-so-busy Natalie Imbruglia , an Alexandra-less Alex von Furstenburg , hotelier Vikram Chatwal , Countess Isabel Rattazzi, and the occasional socialite chewing on hors d’oeuvres and spitting them into napkins. Expect designs from Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Yves St. Laurent, Christian Dior, Versace, Marc Jacobs and Prada. Everything will be sold below wholesale price -but you gotta part with $75 to get in the door. Proceeds go to the PRASAD Project , which does good works for impoverished peoples.
[Beyond Fashion 2003, Milk Studios, 450 West 15th Street, 7 p.m. to 10 p.m., 845-434-0376, ext. 149]
Be afraid. Be very afraid. Not because it’s Friday the 13th, but because American Idol moppets Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini will be blasting us with music at 7 a.m. , turning Bryant Park into a massive alarm clock. Today is also Blame Someone Else Day (which occurs daily for us, particularly when missed deadlines and petty thievery are involved); so if all the minxes mobbing midtown make you late to work, point a finger at Diane Sawyer , because it’s all part of Good Morning America’s concert series. In the meantime, there’s a severe Gwyneth-watch in effect, as her flavor o’ the month, Chris Martin, croons at the Garden as the front man for Coldplay .
[Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini, Bryant Park, 7 a.m.; Coldplay, Madison Square Garden, 2 Pennsylvania Plaza, 8 p.m., 212-307-7171]
Aquaphiles snap on Speedos and kersplash into the Hudson River for the Manhattan Island Marathon Swim. Expect 65-degree waters (on second thought, maybe rethink the Speedos, fellas), shipping traffic and 28.5 miles of flotsam-filled fun. Time limit: 10 hours, or until you eventually wash ashore. And when you do, there’s a film retrospective, “Willy B at the Movies,” with movies featuring the Williamsburg Bridge. “Here’s the thing,” said Kay Turner, the curator of the event. “We’re trying to demonstrate that the Williamsburg Bridge is actually a superstahhhh ! Willy B is an unsung celebrity of our city!” What you’ll see: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn , Serpico and Donnie Brasco , among others. “The Dustin Hoffmans and Al Pacinos of the world go out on the bridge, smoke a lot of cigarettes, and use it as the place where they really speak the truth to themselves. There they realize: ‘I’m an undercover cop and I really love this guy in the Mafia, but I’m gonna go ahead and fuck him over anyways.’ That would never happen on the Brooklyn Bridge-you can only have light and lovely thoughts there . The Willy B is the gritty survivors’ bridge, the bridge of masculine angst,” said Ms. Turner, currently living in Williamsburg beneath all that tempestuous testosterone. Speaking of which, Roman Polanski may be barred from entering the country, but his movies ain’t: This weekend, N.Y.U. film students (both faux poor and real poor) head to the American Museum of the Moving Image for a retrospective on the pint-sized, priapic Pole. Today, there are two shorties from the early years: Two Men and a Wardrobe (remade by NBC as Will & Grace ) and The Fat and the Lean , co-starring Mr. Polanski and an unruly goat. There’s something to be said for making a film about an unruly goat -we’re not sure what, but something.
[Manhattan Island Marathon Swim, Battery Park City, South Cove, 7 a.m., 888-NYC-SWIM; Willy B at the Movies, Galapagos Art Space, 70 North Sixth Street, Williamsburg, 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m., 718-625-0080; Roman Polanski retrospective, American Museum of the Moving Image, 35th Avenue at 36th Street, Astoria, 2 p.m., 718-784-4520]
We don’t know if Howell Raines is planning a sequel to his 1993 book, Fly-Fishing Through the Midlife Crisis -perhaps something like Big Game-Hunting Through An Even Worse Midlife Crisis -but today on Dad’s Day you can join a bunch of Inwood Park Rangers who will be giving lessons in fly-fishing. Reeling papas get free lessons on hooking striped bass, contestants from yesterday’s marathon swim and whatever else has managed to survive in New York’s waterways. Meanwhile, literary magazines -you know, those magazines for bookish people who don’t have the patience to read a whole book-get their very own Literary Magazine Fair in Soho. Meet the editors, browse the journals, take them home (the magazines, not the editors). Keep an eye out for an inevitable appearance by The Believer , the new $8-a-pop publication with a supposedly “silent founder,” though people like us keep referring to it as “the new $8-a-pop publication from Dave Eggers.”
[Inwood Hill Nature Center, Inwood Hill Park, 218th Street and Indian Road, 1 p.m., 212- 360-1311; Literary Magazine Fair, Housing Works Used Book Cafe, 126 Crosby Street, noon to 5 p.m., 212-334-3324]
With the city emptied out on summer weekends, Mondays are the new Saturdays …. Tonight, celeb chef Todd English , actors Rosie Perez and Liev Schreiber , and glam supermodel Alek Wek gather at Tavern on the Green for a big, splashy amFAR (American Foundation for AIDS Research) bash, and to discuss Madison’s admonishments about factionalism in The Federalist Papers . Be on hand for the celebrity-kiss auction -actually, you don’t get any lip-locking; instead, big puckers like Britney Spears, Courteney Cox, Natalie Portman, Cindy Crawford, Kirsten Dunst and Cynthia Nixon will just kiss a card, and you bid on that. But it’s probably better that way if ya wanna avoid the monkeypox.
[amFAR’s Boathouse Rocks, Tavern on the Green, Central Park West at West 67th Street, 8 p.m., 212-806-1636]
K-Y as the new duct tape? In an event that brings new meaning to the idea of product repositioning , flaming-red-haired costume designer Patricia Field hosts a “Modern Girls’ Guide, Everyday Uses for K-Y” party. We found Ms. Field wearing her work uniform of jeans, a T-shirt and Nikes in her office on the set of Sex and the City . “There are going to be different demonstrations with K-Y, shown with all sorts of little scenarios that’ll be staged- things like massage, and I believe they’re going to do something with hair as well. I think that it’s a productthatwe could have fun with in a positive way. K-Y isappealing the same way that salt and pepperare popular: It’s a basic product. It has a specific purpose. It has many other applications.” Does she use it? “I sure do! In other ways, too. There was this one time I was getting dressed and kind of pressed for time, and I had these really tight cowboy boots that I couldn’t get on. So I grabbed a tube of K-Y, smeared it all over my feet and they slipped right on!”
[K-Y party, W Hotel, 541 Lexington at 49th Street, 7 p.m. to 9 p.m., 212-343-1733, ext. 411]
Paul McCartney turns 61 while out on tour today. Note to Mr. McCartney: The fat lady sang , packed up her stuff, left the theater and is home getting ready for bed. Meanwhile, Habitat for Humanity , which builds up houses for those in need, has its New York City’s Builders Breakfast at the Waldorf this morning. Bring a screw driver. And a mimosa.
[Habitat for Humanity New York City’s Builders Breakfast, Waldorf- Astoria
Hotel, 301 Park,
8 a.m. to 9 a.m., by invitation only, 718-246-5656]