Crime Blotter

Gutsy Gal Busts a Move And

Makes Off With New Bosom

Perhaps topping the chutzpah charts, on Jan. 18 a woman made off with a brand-new chest. No, not a Chippendale, but one filled with saline-or whatever the substance is that makes your mammaries look bigger and better and is so in vogue these days. The perp, described as a 32-year-old, 5-foot-3, 170-pound female, visited an East 74th Street board-certified plastic surgeon at 12:15 p.m., gave a fake ID and received her breast implants.

One suspects there were probably several intermediate steps, such as a psychological screening-apparently, though, none of them included a credit check. The patient presented herself as a Brooklyn resident and offered a health-care card as a form of identification. But, as genuine as her new accessories might have appeared, it seems she was unable to produce an authentic Visa or MasterCard, at least one that didn’t buckle under the weight of her $15,000 implants.

The surgeon who performed the procedure contacted the police after he failed to collect his fee.

Speaking of Bosoms ….

The crime wave (such as it is) at La Perla, the high-end lingerie shop at 777 Madison Avenue, continues. On Feb. 8, three women entered the boutique, removed two bustiers valued at $1,400 from a display and fled in an unknown direction.

This is at least the second such incident thus far this year. On Jan. 1, unknown perps visited the risqué retailer and made off with another couple of bustiers valued at $687 and $854 apiece.

At least the staff at La Perla is getting better at providing descriptions to the police. In the first incident, they were apparently unable to do so at all. However, in this case, they identified their assailants as three heavy-set women, all 5-foot-6 and with long curls. None-theless, that wasn’t enough to help the cops make an arrest; they canvassed the area, with negative results.

Fashion Knows

No Bounds

The Hermès brand is so coveted that some people will stop at nothing-including faking a photo shoot, it appears-to get their hands on free product. The folks at the rarefied boutique at 691 Madison Avenue reported to the police on Feb. 11 that late last year they received a visit from a suspect bearing a permission letter from a company called Ocean Drive to borrow a number of garments and accessories for a photo shoot in Miami.

However, when the merchandise, valued at $17,385, wasn’t returned, Hermès placed a call to Ocean Drive on Jan. 26 and spoke to a fashion assistant, who informed them that the company had neither written the letter (which appeared to be forged) nor conducted a fashion shoot on the day in question.

When Hermès got in touch with the individual who’d visited their office and asked for their property back, he told them that he’d already dropped it off. However, they haven’t been able to reach him since.

His catch included one yellow Birkin bag, six scarves and five belts, including one double-buckle black belt and one camel belt.

Jewel Theft

Unless you’re on a ski slope when the wind chill hits 20 degrees below zero, masked men are never a good sign, as an East 65th Street resident discovered on Feb. 6. The aforementioned apparitions appeared at 1:50 p.m. when their victim, apparently in the jewelry business, returned to her building after making a pick-up of $290,000 worth of valuables from Fifth Avenue.

The males-who she believes were part of a South American crime ring-followed her down the street, shoved her to the ground in the lobby of her building, stole the cart with which she was carrying the valuables, and fled in a white minivan eastbound on 65th Street.

Law-enforcement authorities around the country are increasingly plagued by such gangs, who specialize in shoplifting and jewelry theft. The bandits typically case their victims for weeks, even months, to learn their routines before striking.

Detectives from the 19th Precinct responded to the scene, as well as an NYPD evidence-collection team. The victim told the police that she had no insurance.

Tough Job Hunt

We may be in a jobless recovery, and people are desperate. But that’s still no excuse to try to land employment the way a small mob did on Feb. 20 at 181 East 90th Street, at the 30-story Philip Johnson residential tower that’s still under construction but nearing completion.

A group of 11 males identifying themselves as members of an organization called Laborers’ International Union of North America-and brandishing pipes and bats-drove up to the construction site in a white van, according to the police.

Presumably seeking employment, the party asked to speak to the foreman. When the foreman refused to talk to them, the project manager asked them to leave the building. A dispute commenced, which was settled only when the police arrived and arrested all 11, whose addresses included upper Manhattan, the Bronx and Westchester, for criminal trespassing and criminal possession of weapons. The weapons included not only those in the suspects’ hands, but also a bunch more that were found in the van: five bats, five wooden sticks, six metal pipes and a golf club. The cops didn’t say whether it was a wood or an iron.

Ralph Gardner Jr. can be reached at rgard135@aol.com.