Eight Day Week

Wednesday 16th

Lam I am! We ran into Vogue editrix Anna Wintour at the CFDA Awards and asked what she’s excited about this summer. “Color and prints! It’s a very cheerful look that’s out right now. I love all the optimism,” she said. We pointed out she was head-to-toe black and white. “I haven’t been shopping yet!” Watch Ms. Wintour shake her pompoms at the latest collection by Derek Lam , who lost the “Emerging Talent” award to Zac Posen but still counts Ms. Wintour as one of his biggest cheerleaders. It’s happening at Maurice Villency on East 57th Street, the furniture company helmed by the almost uncomfortably good-looking heir, Eric. More emerging talent abounds at that Crobar monstrosity , where cartwheelin’ designer Betsey Johnson has organized a Designers Ball . Unknowns can display their efforts before the likes of Beth Buccini and Sarah Easley , the dynamic duo of the celebrity-happy boutique Kirna Zabete ; Annie (“I married Winston’s descendant!”) Churchill ; Gillian (“I am William Rudolph’s descendant!”) Hearst ; Fabian (“I am Fabian!”) Basabe ; and fabulous retro lifestyle advisor Brini (Is he or isn’t she?) Maxwell . There will also be a retrospective of Ms. Johnson’s madcap collections, which have kept Spence and Chapin teens in vaguely slutty goth frocks for 10 years running …. Meanwhile, Park Slope -Brooklyn’s cash cow for fertility clinics-throws itself a party called “Celebrate Brooklyn!” (exclamation point theirs). BMG music honch Clive Davis gets confetti’d and- lest we wake the baby -smug parents close their windows on the musical stylings of Los Lobos .

[Derek Lam 2004 Resort Collection, Maurice Villency, 200 East 57th Street, 7:30 to 9:30 p.m., 212-485-0548, ext. 3381; Designers Ball, Crobar, 530 West 28th Street, 7 to 11 p.m., 212-479-0895; “Celebrate Brooklyn!” opening-night gala, Prospect Park Bandshell and tent, Park Slope, 5:30 to 11 p.m., 718-855-7882, ext. 12.]

Thursday 17th

Remember when you woke up on your fifth birthday to find that your big “present” was piano lessons? Shift uncomfortably at that memory in your plush seat in Carnegie Hall while brainiac teenies play “Flight of the Bumblebee” on double-time. “You see, there are two sides of the brain, left and right,” said Dr. Mark Tramo, director of the Institute for Music and Brain Science at Hahvahd. “In these kids, there’s a bunch of overlap . No one knows whether John Lennon or Paul McCartney were mathematical geniuses-Paul failed out of high school-but the likelihood that Slash, who is one of the world’s greatest improvisational guitarists , also took A.P. calculus is quite high.” If your musical tastes are a bit more raw, crash the book party for Bling at Lotus, for author Erica Kennedy -best friend to Kimora Lee Simmons and Sarah Lawrence grad. “I mean, Kimora-she’s a total diva, but her public and private personas are very different,” said Ms. Kennedy. ” All the bling, all the chinchillas, the Bentleys, y’know, are just a barrier between yourself and all these people who all want something from you. She totally sits around her kitchen in sweats. Granted, there is a chef and, like, maids and all this insane decoration-but she is playing with her babies.” Is she looking forward to her party? “When I get to Lotus on Thursday, I’m gonna get my hair done, my nails done, pop on some jewelry. It’s not going to be about middle-aged people around a cheese plate.” Most skippable party of the night: a bash at Crobar for Entertainment Weekly ‘s Must List of 2004 . Guest list boasts starlet harlots like Bai Ling and Ashlee Simpson. But haven’t they realized that EW isn’t on anyone’s “Must List” anymore?

[“Beautiful Minds: Beautiful Music,” Carnegie Hall, 7 p.m., by invitation only; EW ‘s “The Must List,” Crobar, 530 West 28th Street, 8 p.m., by invitation only; Bling, Lotus, 409 West 14th Street, 8 p.m., by invitation only.]

Friday 18th

It’s Friday, and once again you’re forced to come to grips with the fact that you don’t have the right friends . And your co-worker’s overzealous enthusiasm for Hawaiian prints is going to ruin your entire summer … At least Bryant Park can be depended on for something, so wake up early and head over to catch that whingy whiner Dido in concert.

[Bryant Park, Upper Terrace, 42nd Street at Avenue of the Americas, 7 a.m., 212-512-5700.]

Saturday 19th

In the middle of Harlem-or “Morningside Heights,” as they like to call it so as not to frighten away the Barnard applicants-a ruddy-faced Bavarian cultural village springs up (Alpine bell ringing, volkstanzen [folk dancing], pretzels), so would it be discourteous of us to predict that some chubby Germans will wallow about naked during the festivities? Down the other end of the city, in Staten Island (where all the Republicans are hiding), a Reiki practitioner will be performing hands-on “healing” to promote your sick puppy’s emotional well-being and manipulate him out of his debilitating stress. (No, not your boyfriend-your actual puppy …. ) We spoke with Reiki master Christa . “There’s not much of a difference in working with animals and humans,” she said. “It’s universal energy, and they’re beings like we are.” Pushed to choose, she prefers nonhumans: “An animal will accept this unconditionally and respond immediately. They feel the vibrations. Humans just give you too much feedback.”

[German Cultural Village, the Theatre of the Riverside Church, 91 Claremont Avenue, 212-870-6784; Reiki for Pets, Tibetan Museum, 338 Lighthouse Avenue, Staten Island, 718-987-3500.]

Sunday 20th

Is anyone else having a good chuckle wondering exactly what Marc Anthony’s spawn are going to call new stepmom J. Lo , and will she force the kiddoes to make up all the beds with her 600,000-thread-count sheets? Hope Mr. Anthony saved the receipt to that marriage! Anyway, today is Father’s Day , the patriarchal holiday, so after an awkward brunching session, maybe Dear Old Dad would enjoy kayaking on the Hudson River, where you and he can paddle around for 20-minute intervals dodging sundry flotsam, jetsam and mob hit victims …. Bring water wings. Those who were long since abandoned by their male authority figure (or just want to get his fluffy white goat), throw on a boa and some Tevas and storm the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Heritage of Pride Rally in Bryant Park. Kind of like the Puerto Rican Day Parade , only without the machismo.

[Kayaking on the Hudson, the Downtown Boathouse, Pier 70 between 65th and 72nd streets, Riverside Park South, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., 646-613-0740; Heritage of Pride Rally, Bryant Park, 42nd Street and Sixth Avenue, 2 to 6 p.m., http://www.bryantpark.org.

Monday 21st

The longest day of the year ( tick-tock, tick-tock ), and it will feel even longer when you’re on the phone with Mom as she tries to find out if her ex-husband let slip any hints about a new g-friend at brunch yesterday …. It’s also the first day of summer-spring is soooo last season-meaning three whole months of strappy sandal lesions , the subway-sauna phenomenon, and agonizing over whether those suddenly ubiquitous flouncy little miniskirts are work-appropriate …. So begins Restaurant Week with its $20.12 lunches (before tax, tip, requisite booze), $30.12 dinners (only available reservations-4:45 p.m. or 11 p.m.), and your inevitably just saying “Screw it” and ordering off the regular menu anyway …. This eve is the beginning of the Bryant Park Film Festival , where every movie starts with that circa 1987 HBO intro sequence with the camera panning over that tiny town (cue the horns!) and then up to the sky to the giant HBO logo …. For your viewing pleasure, it’s American Graffiti , starring Close Encounters ‘ Richard Dreyfuss, not to mention Ron Howard and Harrison Ford …. Meanwhile a bald barber named “Christo” has a new line of kids’ hair products, Curlisto. We asked him why everyone’s hair looks like hell lately. “They are putting on silicone, which makes it feel soft but breaks your hair, or worse yet oil , which makes it disgusting and greasy! You need an Atkins diet for the hair. Pure protein!” Meanwhile, De-Lovely premieres for the fifth time tonight. Ashley (“Hamster Cheeks”) Judd turns in an engaging performance as the wife to Kevin Kline’s Cole Porter in the lackluster biopic about the louche chanteur. Brace yourself for an endless line of dull chart-stalwarts like Sheryl Crow and Alanis, and lots of sweeeeeping shots ….

[Summer Restaurant Week 2004, http://www.opentable.com/newyorkrestaurants/ for online reservations; HBO Bryant Park Film Festival, Bryant Park, 42nd Street and Sixth Avenue, 8 p.m., http://www.bryantpark.org; Curlisto Launch Party, Dylan’s Candy Bar, 60th Street and Third Avenue, 6 to 8 p.m.; De-Lovely premiere, Loews Lincoln Square, 1998 Broadway, 7:30 p.m., by invitation only.]

Tuesday 22nd

Sam I am! Somehow-we’re not quite sure how- Shakespeare in Central Park managed to keep Liev Schreiber out of this year’s production of Much Ado About Nothing ; instead, you’ve got much of network television’s B-team: sunny giantess Kristen Johnston (alumna of Third Rock From the Sun ); Jimmy Smits (NYPD Blue ), Sam Waterston ( Law & Order ) and his daughter, Yale grad Elisabeth Waterston. Ain’t nepotism grand? ( Bonus personal anecdote : Last year we smuggled in a Mountain Dew bottle full of Moët, which spewed all over the crowd when we unscrewed the cap.)

[ Much Ado About Nothing , Central Park, the Delacorte Theatre, enter at Fifth Avenue and 79th Street, 8 p.m., 212-539-8750.]

Wednesday 23rd

Remember Kerri Strug? You felt her pain at the ‘ 96 Olympic Games, where the gymnastics pixie (with snapped ankle and trembling chin) vaulted her way into viewers’ hearts and brought home the gold …. Then came the inevitable Wheaties box, and then we cynics all braced for an Oksana Bauil–like drunken-driving scandal …. Didn’t happen! Ms. Strug now has a mysterious job “working for the U.S. government,” and today gamely handsprings into town to preside over the Meow Mix Gold Medal Games-not, alas, a lesbian Olympics , but a far more tedious contest for the title of “America’s Top Cat Lover.” Categories include litterbox cleanup, hairball toss …. Meow Mix, the cat-food company, is donating one pound of cat food for every participant to the City Critters animal shelter, which is nice. “I can’t get you an interview with Kerri, because she hasn’t been fully media-trained as far as what the event is about,” said a flack. “But I do have an approved quote from her, if you’d like to hear that.” Nah, that’s O.K. … Later, cocoa-buttered E! hostess Brooke Burke (not to be confused with Bruce Willis’ recent ex, Brooke Burns) drags her tawny self to the much-maligned Maritime Hotel, which is transforming itself into a Barbados cabana to help “introduce” some fruity new flavs of Mount Gay Rum (mango, vanilla- hic! ). We’re actually loyal sailors of Captain Morgan’s ship, but heck, we’ll try anything once ….

[Meow Mix Gold Medal Games, South Street Seaport, 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., 877-MEOW-MIX; Mount Gay Rum new flavor launch, Maritime Hotel, rooftop, 363 West 16th Street,

9 p.m. to 1 a.m., by invitation only.]