A Monkey for Pataki

It’s been quite a while since George Pataki faced the press, as Fred Dicker and Howard Wolfson were heard complaining on Dicker’s radio show this morning. By our count, the last Pataki press conference was a joint one, with Eliot Spitzer of all people, on January 11. That was before Dicker, the Observer, and others started poking around the Pataki family finances.

Now there’s so much to ask.

So it’s just a matter of time before somebody steps into that great American political tradition, dons an animal suit, and starts following the Governor from event to event to make this point. A frustrated reporter, perhaps? Dicker himself?

The only question is which animal to choose. The Bush campaign must have some spare Flipper-the-dolphin outfits around, though they were looking kind of frayed by November. The chicken suit is an oldie but a goodie. And we’ve been partial to gorilla costumes since we were told this unwritten movie plot: A town is terrorized by a murderer in a gorilla suit until our hero subdues him, pulls off the mask, and reveals…a gorilla.

But we digress.

Pataki needs an animal. What should it be? Please email us your suggestions.