Lap Dancer Disrobes at Scores, Loses More Than Her Modesty

On most nights, the dancers at Scores, the Upper East Side strip club, have their hands full pleasing their customers-or at least keeping their customers’ hands off them while they perform their unique form of public service. The last thing they should have to worry about, then, is having their personal property stolen while they’re otherwise engaged. But that’s apparently what happened to one stripper at Scores on the night of March 6.

The victim, a 21-year-old West 60th Street resident, told police at the Manhattan North station house, where she appeared (fully clothed, no doubt) to report the crime, that her cell phone was stolen from her table while “she went dancing.”

In all fairness, she may have meant ballroom dancing or square dancing. But given the venue, and the fact that gentleman customers typically don’t go there to dance with their wives, we must assume the victim meant lap dancing.

In any case, when she stopped performing a few minutes later (and, hopefully, a few dollars richer), she canvassed the area unsuccessfully for her telephone. She has no idea who took it, and there were no security cameras on the scene to record the snatch. She described the device as a $200 Samsung cell phone.

Illegal Download

There are certain professionals-computer repairmen, for example-who are given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their honesty. Perhaps it’s because most people are virtually illiterate when it comes to the inner workings of their hard drives and circuit boards, so they treat those who aren’t as a species of demigod. Or perhaps it’s because, by the time they call a computer repairman, they’ve already spent days on the phone talking to tech reps in Bangalore and are simply grateful to be dealing with a live human being.

However, if a Feb. 18 incident is any indication, one probably shouldn’t assume that just because a guy is a computer geek, it makes him any more reputable than those in less cerebral professions, such as plumbers, messengers or cable-TV installers.

In this case, a computer repairman visited a Third Avenue and 91st Street residence at 3 p.m. So confident was the tenant, a 52-year-old male, of his repairman’s integrity that he went and took a shower. However, after the computer guy left, the tenant discovered certain items missing from his apartment-and they weren’t a few stray floppy discs, either. The nefarious nerd made off with $100 cash, a Capital One MasterCard, a sports jacket and a $1,000 Tiffany watch. The victim told the cops that he believes the perp was named something like Danny or Anthony or Adolpho. No word yet on whether or not the fellow fixed the computer before fleeing.

No-Pee Zone

One would expect those caught in the act of urinating in public to register at least a modicum of embarrassment, if not to express outright remorse. But as the saying has it, when you gotta go, you gotta go. A fellow who decided that he had to heed nature’s call at 5:55 a.m. on Feb. 22 picked a spot in front of an East 62nd Street and York Avenue garage and Mobil gas station to do so. But he was anything but repentant when a garage employee asked him what he was doing.

“What’s wrong with you?” the peeing perp reportedly retorted when the worker explained that the garage’s driveway was not a pissoir. A verbal dispute ensued (one hopes after the suspect had repacked his gear) and then turned violent when the suspect-described as 6-foot-2 and 200 pounds-grabbed the garage worker’s shirt and repeatedly struck him in the face.

If there’s anything more uncouth than peeing in public (except in the woods, which is a whole different thing, as I tell my wife), it’s making your girlfriend wait while you do so. In fact, there’s something even ruder than that: forcing her to rescue your ass before the cops arrive as you go homicidal, which is what happened in this case. The lady had to pull her boyfriend off the victim and drag him away after he’d knocked the poor garage worker to the ground and continued to pummel him.

The couple was last seen fleeing northbound on York Avenue in a white Nissan. The police canvassed the area, with negative results.