London, Calling, Repeatedly

Can The Transom really be homesick for somewhere it’s only been once–and back in the 80’s, at that?

In September’s Tatler, we learn of London and her people:

“The Brazilian is over and the bush is back,” says Saffron Aldridge. The history of the sugar momma goes back to Clytemnestra! LOMBARD is apparently, allegedly, acronymical slang for Loads Of Money But A Real Dickhead. A psychic—named Amaryllis MacIntyre—has much to say about her skin care secrets! What’s Jade Jagger’s travel secret? “Xanax and Goyard.” And then? A Seamus Heaney poem!

Of course, there is real magic: The New Social Rich. “Flamboyance is their creed, Cipriani their playground. They love private planes, but love bikini waxers even more…” Sidebar! “Is it just us, or is everyone who works at a hedge fund boring? Does anyone know what a hedge fund is? Who cares?” Hooray!

What marvelous dimension is this? What heavenly place does this magazine depict? How are we not there?