Gifford’s Fan

Gifford Miller greeted bleary-eyed commuters at 96th street and Broadway with a chorus of volunteers behind him. “What time is it?” Mayor Time,” they sang as he squeezed hands and tunelessly hummed some song with the lyrics “oh well I know I must be free.”

But not all the volunteers’ chants worked so well. “Give me an M” got nothing butter a murmur. “For Christ’s sake,” said one disappointed volunteer.

Luckily, Judge H. Steed jumped on the scene. After pledging his support for Miller in a rant that ended in a hug from the candidate, Steed demanded a campaign sign and started his own cheer. “Michael Jackson may be chiller, but we vote for Gifford Miller!”

As Miller’s aides debated whether Steed was deranged, a drunk or on crack, the campaign’s best cheerleader screamed out an inspired “You can think about it, or you can be about it. Gifford Miller!”