The Kimora Lee Simmons After-Party

This weekend, one-hundred or so fans of Kimora Lee Simmons converged on the after-party at Guest House on 27th Street a bit before midnight.

“I don’t know what you people are doing here,” said B.J. the doorman, “But you are not getting in without an invitation.”

“This is not a block party! This is for Kimora’s friends and family only,” he said. “You can’t just come in and hang out. It’s not like that.”

Some people try to get in using the Katrina donation card as an invitation. “Using these Katrina cards won’t work! They won’t get you in!”

He said, “I’ve never seen you people before in my life! Kimora has never seen you people before in her life!”

Then he divided the line into people with invitations and people on the guest list. He then turned to the guest list line and said, “There is no guest list.”

That bald stylist who always wears the sunglasses on his head and is always on VH1 was rejected at the door.

An older woman—in her 50′s, in a pink shirt and jacket which rode up to expose her huge belly—said, “I used to work with special needs children, and he is definitely a special needs child.”

Ms. Simmons arrived at five past midnight in her bright yellow dress. “Thank you,” said B.J., “Good night everyone, it’s over!”

— Raegan Johnson