Step Into… The Cockpit!

In honor of Salon’s new women-only blog, The Broadsheet, where the ladies of Salon are speed-posting Rita Dove poems, meditations about Kotex advertisements, and a shocking new theory that the White House’s smear of Joseph Wilson was intended to be emasculating, the New York Observer was also thinking of getting its very own women’s blog! (After all, we have lots of funky office estrogen to vent too!)

But, as usual, the gals around the office couldn’t get it together to even settle on a name for their new blog. Apparently, a vicious (yes) cat-fight broke out over the first proposal, “The Litterbox.” Then, “ObservHer” didn’t pick up much traction, and, at the end of that conversation, senior editor Suzy Hansen got shot with a stapler over suggesting that variant proposal “Catbox” just be shortened to “Box.” (Yeah, that didn’t go over big with the feminist majority.)

In the end, we just decided to launch a men’s blog instead, since, you know, men actually get things done instead of just jawing about them all day long. (Oh, don’t look at us like that, gals!) So, without further ado, welcome to… The Cockpit!

WTF, Stemware
You guys, last night after we closed the paper, when we totally went out for dude-food at 1 a.m., and had to go to that stupid French place on Park Avenue, and I ordered that beer? And they brought the beer to me in a red wine glass? What the fuck was that, yo? ‘Kay, IM me later, I’ll be in my office or something. Or out getting a beer… in A GLASS, MAN. Sheesh.
–posted by Tom “El Beisbol” Scocca at 12:14 p.m.

I’ll Take Fruity Writers For $100, Alex
Ha ha, dudes. Check it out. Say “Jonathan Lethem” ten times. Doethn’t it thound lithpy? Ha ha ha. Lethem! Lethem! Lethem! LEETTHEMMMM! Ah, shit, hang on, I gotta go get a Dr. Pepper.

Oh yeah, did u see? Thcooter Libbey is on crutches today. Heh. What a fag!
–posted by Choire “Hot Dog, Homey!” Sicha at 12:39 p.m.

Top Ten Lies Sold To Us By Lesbians
10. Farmer’s markets.
9. Tempeh. (See also: seitan.)
8. Moving in.
7. Barter
6. Anne Heche. (Heh. Anne He-she.)
5. Indonesian rice salad.
4. Processing.
3. Collective action. (See also: the WNBA.)
2. Ani DiFranco.
1. Ecuadorian sweaters.
–posted by Tom “Rockin’ Out, Man!” McGeveran at 12:52 p.m.

—The Transom