“As the wedding day approaches…”

erica - hamburger too thin too rich

ERICA: “… thin women get thinner and heavier women get heavier.” This is the first line from the post Greg just forwarded me from a website he frequents. The website has nothing to do with brides or weddings, but in an effort to highlight a point about web design and dealing with clients, the author used an exchange he recently had with a bridal gown designer:

“The hypothesis here (expressed by the dress maker) is that the weight loss/gain depends on how these women deal with the stress of the event: thin women don’t eat or they lose their appetites when stressed, while heavier women eat in response to stress.”

Now, Greg probably didn’t intend to send me this as a hint, but hello…of course I’m taking it as one. I’m also so mad at this woman and her snippy, little know it all attitude. I’m currently typing away with my teeth clenched and my brow furrowed. I get it though. I swear I do. The one and only reason I find myself hopping mad right now is because this snippy little know-it-all is spot on, dead perfect right.

Before Greg and I got engaged, I really had totally and completely convinced myself that the moment I slipped my dreamy, cushion cut diamond engagement ring onto my left hand, this was somehow going to trigger a chemical reaction in my body that converted all of my Big Mac wantin’ energy into an unstoppable desire for a wedge of iceberg lettuce. And my aversion towards exercise was going disappear so quickly and so succinctly, I would be training for a marathon by this summer. Well, guess what? I still love Big Macs and our gym, located a mere 26 floors beneath my couch lovin’ ass, has welcomed my presence less than 5 times since then.

I’m still 100% committed to making sure that when I walk down that aisle I’m skinny and fabulous, and yet I have a bag of milk chocolate easter eggs hidden in my second desk drawer – and I’m Jewish, to add insult to injury.