This Saturday, at the corner of Atlantic Avenue and Columbia Street, the Port of New York and New Jersey rolled out their centerpiece to welcome the thousands of geriatrics that will be flooding the neighborhood once the Queen Mary 2 docks at the new cruise ship terminal in Red Hook next month.

Mommy, I'm scared!

A burnt-out car at that intersection is sure to let all the Midwesterners know exactly where they are. We suggest some sort of permanent flame--a la J.F.K.'s grave--but perhaps we're being too grandiose. Those double-decker tour buses are already making it a stop in the "Welcome to Brooklyn--Now Get the Hell Out" tour.

-Matthew Grace