Emotionally Withdrawn From My Wedding Presents

erica candlesticks

ERICA: I’ve completely lost interest in our wedding registry. I’m so disinterested, in fact, I don’t even have it saved anymore under my “favorites” on my browser.

It makes no sense to me at all, since shopping is truly one of my favorite sporting events. And to make a list of all the stuff I want with a virtual guarantee that people are going to buy it for me, well, this is the stuff that dreams are made of. And yet somehow I still don’t really care.

To make matters worse, my soon to be sister-in-law just called to tell me that we have several things on our registry that have been discontinued or are “not available for purchase online anymore.” WTF!? How can something NOT be available for purchase online. What does that mean, exactly?

Think about it for a moment: you can buy live bumblebees online; you can even buy a suit of armor online for christ’s sake. So how on earth has Macy’s determined that our Black Krups Waffle Maker or Calvin Klein quilted feather pillows can no longer be purchased online?

And yes, I know I have a bad attitude and don’t really have a right to be whining over our friends and family showering us with gifts. I’m sorry. Really I am. I think my problem stems from the fact that I’ve yet to see even one our many, shiny, new, generously given gifts. They are all being sent to Greg’s parents’ house (hello? 746 sq. ft. NYC apt…where do you want me to keep this stuff?) so I just feel a bit disconnected. Maybe we should take a field trip out to New Jersey this weekend and roll around with our new candlesticks and jump up and down on bubbly wrap while spinning a salad.

Perhaps that will send me back into the realm of registry nirvana.