Live It Up, Bed in a Bag! Your Days Are Numbered

KARA: This weekend I’m going to Massachusetts for my bridal shower. If my life is now a wrinkled Wal-Mart flier, soon it will be a glossy Pottery Barn catalogue. And so I prepare to say…

Your days are numbered, threadbare bed in a bag. I’m tired of your rash-inducing cotton and mysterious stains. He-e-l-l-o-o-o ice blue, 300-thread-count sheets complemented with whimsical sham and duvet cover! Farewell, Mom’s 1970′s crockpot. Welcome home, all-clad, stainless steel slow rice cooker. Ever-so-chic Asian square dinnerware set? Come to Mama. Sleek, expensive espresso maker and retro yellow Kitchen Aid mixer (for those cakes I know I’ll whip up once I have some overpriced kitchen appliances)? Soon, you too will be mine.