Live It Up, Bed in a Bag! Your Days Are Numbered

KARA: This weekend I’m going to Massachusetts for my bridal shower. If my life is now a wrinkled Wal-Mart flier, soon it will be a glossy Pottery Barn catalogue. And so I prepare to say…

Your days are numbered, threadbare bed in a bag. I’m tired of your rash-inducing cotton and mysterious stains. He-e-l-l-o-o-o ice blue, 300-thread-count sheets complemented with whimsical sham and duvet cover! Farewell, Mom’s 1970’s crockpot. Welcome home, all-clad, stainless steel slow rice cooker. Ever-so-chic Asian square dinnerware set? Come to Mama. Sleek, expensive espresso maker and retro yellow Kitchen Aid mixer (for those cakes I know I’ll whip up once I have some overpriced kitchen appliances)? Soon, you too will be mine.

Article continues below
More from Politics
John Wisniewski took a risk in being Bernie Sanders' most prominent NJ backer during the presidential campaign. This week, the Vermont senator's son, Levi Sanders, campaigned for Wisniewski's opponent, Phil Murphy.
Murphy Crushes Wisniewski In Middlesex, Wiz Home County