amanda bachelorette party

COLLEEN: “I have something I want to talk to you about,” says my friend Amanda over the phone.

“Sure, what’s going on?” Amanda got engaged several months after I did, but is getting married this October. Because she has to plan her wedding at warp speed and I’ve already done a lot of leg-work, she periodically asks me for advice on photographers, bands, and other marriage-planning minutiae.

“I was wondering,” Amanda starts before trailing off. She sounds more hesitant that usual. “My bridesmaids aren’t really the going out types, and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind planning my bachelorette party.”

Mind? I’m thrilled to plan a bachelorette party! I can already envision it in all its cliché, obnoxious, embarrassing excess: “I’m the Bride” t-shirts and blinking penis-light tiaras and cheesy, cheesy bar crawls. Amanda will do blow job shots and she will most definitely dance on the bar.

“Just one thing,” she continues. “No male strippers, please.”

She has no idea what she’s in store for…