Atlantic Yards, the 60-Second Version

Scene 1: “Rally” at MetroTech 12, interior

Bruce Ratner comes out of hiding; squints without his glasses. Jason Kidd likes the project, and not just because his boss is doing it. ROBERTA FLACK IS HERE!!!! Lots of jokes about what being a Brooklynite means. (Loud and in-your-face.)

Scene 2: Public Hearing, City College of Technology, down the street, interior and exterior

Line stretches down the block and around the corner. Caterer hired by Ratner is handing out 1,500 box lunches “to anyone who asks.” Elderly lady holds impromptu press conference after getting escorted out because she won’t shut up about how awful it is. Union carpenters get free T-shirt and meet one-day-a-year “mandatory participation requirement” by showing up. Boo. Hiss. Yay. Applause. Standing ovations. Whistle. Like real metal whistles INSIDE. “New Orleans showed the world how black people are treated all the time.” “Between 8:45 and 9:15, a member of the Park Slope Civic Council drove around a multi-block area and could not find a parking spot.” “I didn’t see one of them showing up when they closed St. Mary’s Hospital.” The vending machines run out of water, then soda, then ice cream sandwiches, then those crunchy chocolate-covered ice cream sticks, which means it must be time to go home.

CURTAIN

(Seriously, The Observer will be on vacation until Aug. 30.)

-Matthew Schuerman