Supervised By Tiffany’s Armed Guards, I Try On a Rare Five Carat Pinkie

AMANDA: “Is there anything else you would like to try on today?” asks the pleasant saleswoman at Tiffany.

“Hmmm….maybe that pink one over there,” I answer.

She leads me over to the pink ring area: “This one right here?” She points to a delicate wedding band with alternating rows of micro-pave diamonds and tiny pink sapphires.

“No, this one right here,” I say pointing at a gigantic pale pink diamond, at least 5 carats.

The saleswoman smiles weakly, “Oh, THAT pink one.”

Dan, who knows a lot more about diamonds than one would guess, says, “Mmmm…aren’t these extra-rare?” He emphasizes the “extra-rare” part to communicate to me the price range I’ve wandered into.

At this point the saleswoman is attempting to make eye contact with each security guard on the floor while stalling for time by explaining that a pink diamond like this costs “ten times as much” as its plain old clear diamond equivalent. “In fact,” she says, “this ring costs $520,000.” My jaw drops. But since it’s now out of the case and being held out to me in the trembling saleswoman’s palm, (she needn’t be nervous – I wouldn’t get very far with the wall of security guards that has quietly crept up behind me) I tell her I’ll try it on just for fun. She is less than thrilled. I pop it onto my finger. For a delightful 20 seconds, I live in a world where my engagement ring costs as much as a small one bedroom downtown. Then I hand it back to the great relief of the saleswoman, my fiance and the band of Tiffany’s armed guards.