John Bartlett’s Terrorpants

John Bartlett sent a crew of emaciated standard-issue trendy-haired models down the runway this morning to kick off fashion week in Bryant Park. No bears! No facial hair! And an incredibly generic collection, as well. Except: TERRORPANTS! What are they? Swim trunks? What length is that? Why? What are they for? It’s like Coney Island bathers of the 1940’s meets manhood-terror anxiety! Fear the terrorpants!

bartlett John Bartletts Terrorpants
Welcome to the Pants-Terrordome. Photo: Getty Images

Worse picture—terrorshorts suit!—after the jump!

terrorsuit John Bartletts Terrorpants
No he didn’t. Photo: Getty Images.