On Eve of Departure for Whirlwind Wedding Week, Things Look Grim

ERICA: It’s 1:35 a.m. the night before I leave for my whirlwind wedding week in California.

Current stats:

* Bags packed and ready to go: zero
* Rooms in apartment cleaned and in spic and span shape as planned: zero
* Remaining pounds to lose: ten (yes, I realize I’m in fantasyland people, but I’m just reporting the facts)
* Dollars spent on ridiculously frivolous, last-minute needed wedding supplies: close to kajillion
* Pages wasted trying to print out our inexplicably formatted programs (THAT JUST WON’T PRINT RIGHT NO MATTER WHAT THE F&^*% I DO!!!! I HATE MS WORD!): 72

Things are looking pretty grim. Thankfully, I managed to get all of my lingering Paper Bride orders out, so at least I won’t have that hanging over my head. Also, I set up my “away” messages with all email accounts and changed our voicemail message, so that feels good. But my flight leaves at 8pm tomorrow and my to-do list currently looks like the Oxford English Dictionary. I changed my major in college to avoid a math requirement, so I’m not very good at statistics or probability, but my guess is I’m going to need to ditch about three quarters of my list.

Italy…I’m coming. I promise. I’ll see you soon.