Sweet, Embraceable Venue?

LAURIE: I recently quit my job in deepest New Jersey and got a shiny new one, in whatever we call the neighborhood east of Shake Shack. Now, instead of commuting four hours a day round-trip, it’s about 50 minutes total, and most of that is on foot. When people heard I was finally ridding myself of the soul-crushing commute, they’d said, “Great! Now you’ll have much more time to plan your wedding!” And I thought, “Or not, because so much of it is already sewn up. I’ll have more time for television and talking on the phone and writing about how much I hate bridal magazines.”

And then the owner of the wedding venue that we’ve had booked since March got into an ugly disagreement with my mother over the telephone (the reason is not important), and later pulled a really unsuccessful version of what I like to call “the Sleeping with the Enemy.” Early on in that terrible, wonderful, terrible movie, Laura (Julia Roberts) gets beaten up by her husband for not alphabetizing the pretzels. He then runs away to drain his rage in the sea, later returning with an armful of flowers, which he drapes over Laura’s shuddering, whimpering form, saying: “I’m sorry we quarreled.”

And the only thing to do was the scrap the whole heap and start over, which is what I’m doing. Good times.