A Christmas Message from Siberia

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Photo by Lonely Pamphleteer

Whether you’re a bitter media blogger, or a celebrity private intellectual, or a noted 43rd Street plagiarist, or an ex of Parker Posey, or an employee of Salon who is questioning the meaning of feminism, or even Village Voice nightlife sex dwarf Tricia Romano, the time of the Yule can only mean one thing. It is a time when we celebrate the crucified death and rebirth of our favorite vending places of alcohol. And so now please enjoy this Christmas message of cheer from the owner of Siberia, Mr. Tracy Westmoreland.

The soul of Siberia raised its swollen, beautiful head in alarmed satisfaction this weekend, happy to see all the Siberians who came by to drink. The bar will stay open another week thanks to your thirsts. Where are you drinking tonight? Good.

I am not even going to start about the landlord because I shouldn’t. At least not here. Or yet. But there’s a battle for Siberia to win.

Once again the proprietor of the building wants us out, just like one did six years ago in the subway. During that fight, I took the toilet from that bar as carry-on luggage to chain it to the doors of the landlord’s headquarters in Tokyo. We don’t lose, Comrades, not in these battles.

Now we fight to keep Siberia from becoming a chain steakhouse. There will not be a down and dirty rock venue in the basement of the steakhouse–that will be a kitchen. Now that can’t be good.

The people who have come out to pledge their support are kinder and sweeter than I ever imagined. One neighborhood woman walking by extended a ten dollar bill, which she likely needed, in a gesture that, I have to tell you, made me cry a little. Midtown business people, neighborhood folks, chefs, bartenders, and the writers–we’ll never forget the writers–have been by, wishing to see the bar stay. Thanks to the twelve rugged dock-workers who came by over the weekend and offered me a job down on the docks. It’s a sweet gesture, guys, thanks.

The way it’s working out is that we’re fighting a war every week to stay alive. This Wednesday Thursday, Friday and Saturday we will definitely be open. Each week is a new battle. The best thing people can do to save Siberia is simply come here and drink. that’s the best way they can show their support.

Even if the phone doesn’t work, we’ll be there. If you’d like to help, but can’t come to the bar, have a drink and dial in our website at Siberia3. The 3 signifies the third life of Siberia.

We all thought Siberia was going to close last weekend. Last weekend was the best weekend in the history of Siberia. To keep it open, bring your friends and drink at the bar. And have a good time. That’s why we’re here, after all.

Rock on, Comrades!

Tracy Westmoreland
Minister of Propaganda