Hail to the Chef!

Yesterday The Transom and I were in the lobby at 915 Broadway, Observer HQ, waiting for the candle- (and occasionally marijuana-) scented elevator.

Waiting along with us was an expensively but hiply dressed man in a wool-knit beanie cap, with a Louis Vuitton bag the size of a 4-year-old child. We did a double-take. Yes, it was Top Chef conquistador Ilan D. Hall.

“I missed the episode,” The Transom purred. “Did you end up winning?”

“Yeah.”

“Nice work.” The Transom offered a manly high-five. “Nice bag, Gucci?”

“Yeah.” But it looked very Louis Vuitton.

“Look at you, buying Gucci bags right and left,” The Transom gushed.

“No, it’s old.” But it looked very new.

We got into the elevator, The Transom first. “So what’s going on with Cliff? He’s not in jail is he?” Cliff is Cliff Crooks, who was ejected from Bravo for getting rough with contestant Marcel Vigneron’s gorgeous mane.

“Nah, he’s in his restaurant, he’s doing really well,” Mr. Hall said.

“Yeah!” said The Transom, angling for another high five. “That dude actually probably deserved to get his head shaved.”

Then things got hot: Mr. Hall furrowed his epicurean brow. “He deserved more than that.” Snap!

And he strutted out onto mysterious Floor 5, weighty Vuitton bag in tow. The Transom and I went weak-kneed. A real-life reality chef! Sharing our elevator!
Max Abelson