Apparently, Lindsay Lohan, Rebecca Romijn and Avril Lavigne were all in the crowd—but somehow a babe-bleary Transom found itself homing in on Dr. Drew Pinsky, best known as Dr. Drew, co-host with Adam Carolla of the popular call-in show Love Line.

“I’m kind of surprised by the amount of alcohol,” said the good doctor. “I’m from L.A., so I’m not used to this. But that’s the first thing that jumps out at me—everybody’s loaded. Poor Lindsay just got out of treatment, didn’t she?”

By midnight, the only “celebrities” willing to squeeze themself into the packed room were online gossip Perez Hilton and stylist Robert Verdi.

On the way out, The Transom ran into Dr. Drew again, and accidentally called him Dr. Phil, causing visible irritation. “He’s not a physician—he had a psychology degree but never really practiced,” Dr. Pinsky said, who was also considerably thinner and hipper-looking than Oprah’s mustachioed protégé, in black blazer and gray jeans. “The term ‘doctor’ has been so abused lately! I didn’t live in a hospital for 10 years so that term could be bastardized.”

What’s more, Dr. Drew said he has been “deeply disturbed” by some of the advice Dr. Phil has been dispensing, though, he added, “It’s good TV. And I believe that they’re not trying to hurt anybody—they’re trying to do good work.”

Dr. Phil actually has a doctoral degree in clinical psychology from the University of North Texas, and he completed a year-long internship at a Veterans Administration psychiatric hospital and practiced psychology for nearly 12 years, a rep said later.