The Afternoon Wrap: Monday

“Shitty Neighborhood Rallies Against Asshole Developer”—and other fantasies in a world gone totally mad. [Onion]

Oh, where the sun don’t shine! Meet Michael Kwartler, the city’s shadow expert. [New Yorker]

Just when we thought they’d cleared Times Square of bums… [AdAge via Gawker]

Ozone Park–'it sounds like a very nice community.' [Outer B]