Vibe Rater: The Private Roof Club and Garden on the Gramercy Park Hotel, 2 Lexington Avenue

So you want to have an affair, but the goddamn paparazzi won’t leave you and your lover alone. What to do?

Step into the Gramercy Park Hotel, head for the private elevator, and jet up 16 floors to Ian Schrager’s new playground, the Private Roof Club and Garden. First, though, book a room or know (or be) somebody: The warren of sunrooms and bars is restricted to overnight guests and high-priced private parties.

If you get in, mellow out in the soft candle light amid plush furniture and a jungle of foliage that claims citrus trees, orchids and ivy among. Gaze upon original pieces by Andy Warhol and Damien Hirst; and, in one room roasted by a working fireplace, gander at a display of 1,000 light bulbs overhead.

There’s a wide view of chunks of midtown and the East Side (the Chrysler Building and the Empire State Building stand out). And there’s… well, why bother going on? You probably can’t get in. (Good luck, though.)