MTV unleashes Kaya, who appears to be some kind of Spam product made from the butt ends of Avril Lavigne (Kaya has her own band called "Crossing Clearwater!") and Britney Spears (Kaya is tabloid fodder!) The realer than real scripted drama is the first for the network in some time. Slotted at 10:30 PM with a Hills lead-in, Kaya, with its nod to the gossip weeklies, is positioned as a crossover hit. She had better be in rehab by the third episode, or the Bloggers won’t notice it. Then there’s The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8:30 PM), just picked up for a full season. And Samantha Who? (ABC, 9:30 PM), despite receiving not so stellar reviews, had 14.4 million viewers for its premiere. There’s officially no accounting for taste; we’ll see if Christina Applegate’s numbers last.
House (Fox, 9 PM) is back! This creates a bit of a DVR log-jam this Tuesday as the buzz surrounding The Reaper (CW, 9 PM) mounts. Kevin Smith directed the pilot for this show about a slacker-type who discovers that his parents sold his soul to the devil at birth. On his 21st birthday, Sam is enlisted by Beelzebub to capture fugitive souls who have escaped from hell using a hand vacuum. For a more sober view of the Armageddon there’s the big CNN do-up on global warming, Planet in Peril (9 PM), starring Sanjay Gupta and Anderson Cooper, which kicks off tonight at the same time.
As CBS continues to cut into ABC’s lead on Wednesday nights, NBC has decided to throw a wrench into the fray with Phenomenon (8 PM), a game-show (based on Israeli TV phenomenon The Successor) in which 10 wannabe mentalists compete for a $250,000 prize and the validation of the modern oracles Uri Gellar and Chris Angell. (Was David Blaine tied up? Ahem. Then there’s the Sarah Silverman Program, which manages to offend in new—and cute!—ways each week. First, it tackled abortions. Then it was racism. (Silverman in blackface—sooo cuuute!) This week’s episode is titled “Doodie.” Pass the wetnaps!
Fans of The Office (NBC, 9 PM) can say goodbye to their beloved special one-hour episodes now that Scrubs is back. Those last three were three perfect hours of television, so if NBC was experimenting with hour-long scripted comedies, they have their results. Tune in an hour early if you have nothing whatsoever else to do and you’ll catch The Breed (TNT, 8 PM). It looks just like Cujo, but, you know, made for TV sot he production values will be even lower, which is to say, better. (Anyone remember The Shining remake with the guy from Wings? Yeah, that was fantastic.)
Decisions, decisions. America’s Most Smartest Model (VH1, 8 PM)? Reruns of America’s Next Top Model (MTV, 8 PM)? The Bridges of Madison County (Oxygen, 8 PM)? Make Friday a drinking night.