We miss you, Spontaniouse! So here we are with cycle 9 of America’s Next Top Model … where the girls seem more like candidates for Tyra’s T-zone camp than they do for the runways of Paris. That said, we got a few favorites: Lisa, the dancer … err … stripper from Jersey City (holla!), the mean beauty Ebony and the “plus size” gal who is honest-to-god a size four. And don’t you just want to smack the smug Yalie? Because smacking her isn’t possible for you, find a Yalie, any Yalie, in your office and smack them—they know they deserve it.
[America’s Next Top Model, The CW, 8 p.m.]