The entire country buys a gleaming boatload of junk no one needs today, on this most busiest of shopping days. Anyone not wishing to pour hard-earned dollars into the economy via the Bloomingdale’s shoe department has two options: visit Santa (the real one, not one of the imposters) at ABC Carpet & Home (Santa, we fear, can do nothing for us) or truck up to Harlem for the Apollo Circus of Soul—a “modern, hip urban circus jam-packed with music, comedy, illusion, acrobatics, and, of course, soul”—at the Apollo Theater. But don’t expect elephants! Acts include the Rappin’ Granny, whom you might recognize from Everybody Hates Chris, and Millie Brown & Woody, a men-are-dummies duet, oops, a man-and-dummy duet. Those tofurkey leftovers are looking good.