Goodbye, Mr. Big! The End of the Affair

You can answer the phone, but people have told me that they’ve left messages and I didn’t get them.”

She just gave him a look.

The message was, as she’d known it would be, from Keemi for Mr. Big. Frantic. “I just wanted to let you know that Carrie saw me tonight … ” She saved it. When Mr. Big arrived at 12:43, she played it for him. “Oh, that’s nothing,” he said. He was in a very good mood. “Keemi doesn’t know what’s going on.”

Carrie did not remind him about their conversation that afternoon. Two days later, she ran into someone who claimed to be in the restaurant where Mr. Big was having dinner, who claimed that it was obviously business, although there was some girl there, but she was obviously part of the business, too.

By then, Carrie wasn’t paying attention. She didn’t care. By then, she was disassociating, moving into her own space.

She still can’t remember who the person was who claimed to be in the restaurant.

On Fourth of July weekend, Mr. Big kept disappearing in Mr. Marvelous’ Hummer. They claimed they were going to the store. They claimed they were going to the store six times in two days. They came back with pickles. Then they claimed they were going rollerblading. Carrie wasn’t paying attention.

As soon as Mr. Big left, she’d turn the stereo all the way up and dance around the house. K.C. and the Sunshine Band.

‘You’re Out of Control’

What are you going to do with your life?” he’d ask.

I’m going to become famous.”

That is so sad. You won’t like it when you get there.”

Get off our planet.”

Then he’d go and smoke a cigar and sulk, or go to the store again with Mr. Marvelous.

In the middle of July:

Is there somebody else?”

This is not about anyone else. This is about us.”

That’s not answering the question.”

This is about us.”

It’s a yes or no question. Is there somebody else?”

No.”

Liar. You’ve been coached, haven’t you?”

What are you talking about?”

Someone’s been coaching you on what to say.”

This is about us. Not about anyone else.”

See? There you go again.”

Why do you have to make this harder?”

I’m not
making it harder. I have to get a cigarette.”

I have to go to sleep. Why won’t you let me sleep?”

You don’t deserve to sleep.”

"I haven’t done anything wrong."

You haven’t done anything right, either. I want to get to the bottom of this coaching business.”

What are you talking about?”

Someone’s been telling you what to say. It’s an old shrink trick. When you’re in a difficult situation, you keep repeating the same phrase over and over again. That way, you can’t have a conversation.”

One hour later:

What are you doing? Who are you seeing? What time are you getting home?”

Early. I’m getting home early.”

You’re out of control.”

I am not. I’m home at 11.”

Don’t lie to me.”

Don’t lie to me.”

I could have you followed. How do you know that I’m not already having you followed? I’m rich enough to have you followed.”

This was several weeks after Carrie had begged to be taken to a mental institution.

To be continued…