Monday, November 19th

Bill Cosby shtiCks up Harlem, where the Cialis-gobbling editors of Esquire magazine are creating the “ultimate bachelor pad”—think martini shakers! Flat-screen TVs! Tranny hookers on speed dial! Still no competition for Bill Clinton’s Harlem bachelor office—go baby go!—but the ink-stained wretches are tryin! Mr. Cosby is there to host a benefit for Village Academies, a nonprofit that provides college prep to kids in Harlem. “A key component is charity,” said Esquire editor David Granger, when we demanded to know why in hell the world needs another bachelor pad. Mr. Granger said he’s been a Cosby fan since he heard Mr. Cosby’s Why Is There Air? album at an early age. “First, he’s funny,” he said. “Second, he’s willing to speak truth as he sees it, even if he gets pilloried for it.” Amen! Then English major heads explode as international foodie sex symbol and estranged wife of Salman Rushdie, Padma Lakshmi, descends on the Strand to read from her book—titled, titillatingly, Tangy Tart Hot & Sweet: A World of Recipes for Every Day. Potential suitors must be have a Booker Prize and a fatwa.

[Esquire North: Village Academies Fall Benefit Celebration, 111 Central Park North, 8 p.m., by invitation only; Padma Lakshmi at the Strand, 828 Broadway, 7 p.m.]