The Experts: “There’s Something Weird” About Lance and Ashley

ashleyolsen The Experts: Theres Something Weird About Lance and Ashley Page Six is a funny kind of matchmaker. Right or wrong (Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin?) a relationship posited in the column becomes a real thing in Hollywood, where press is everything.

Not really sure of what to make of the Lance Armstrong-Ashley Olsen pairing posited in the column today—a true Edgar Bergen-and-Charlie McCarthy match-up—we called celebrity life coach Patrick Wanis to weigh in on the matter.

“There’s something weird there. It just doesn’t feel right,” he said. That was before he asked for each of their astrological signs. Upon finding out, Mr. Wanis made a loud noise. “Oh, that’s never going to work! She’s a Gemini I’m laughing and I guess I shouldn’t be. Virgos [like Mr. Armstrong] are very down to earth, but often super critical. They want to be very well organized. Now, on the other hand, Ashley is a Gemini; she’s free spirited. She’s into intellectual stimulation. She’ll get bored very easily, too. Geminis love to do new things all the time, and they tend not to finish what they start, because they see something else that’s more exciting. I’m very curious to know what the spark is, because I don’t feel a spark between them. When I saw this, I was like, ‘This doesn’t even fit.’ Other than that they’re both powerful and rich, I cannot see what else there is there.”

Their age difference of some 15 years doesn’t really faze Mr. Wanis, who pointed to the successful marriages maintained by stars like Michael Douglas, 63, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, 38. Instead, Mr. Wanis pointed to Ms. Olsen’s childhood as a possible hindrance on the path to true love with the champion cyclist. “Usually girls who go with older guys have problems with their father figures.” (The Olsen twins were raised mainly by their mother after their parents divorced in 1995.) “And Lance, in that sense, would fit. He’s an older guy, he’s already had the success; he’s already got the wealth; he’s well established; he’s conquered things. You know, he’s conquered his own challenges, and she’ll respect him for that.”

Later, he brought up Mr. Armstrong’s book, It’s Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life, which, in his professional view, “is all about winning. And he’s ready to give up everything, including his wife. I mean, look at his track record!” he said emphatically, before adding: “Maybe he’s good on the bicycle, but he’s not good on the marriage…It’s strange because he’s a sports guy, so he’s got to be able to stay, but he’s not a stayer. Isn’t that funny! That’s the ultimate irony, because usually I believe that the way you do anything is the way you do everything.”

If they asked for his advice, Mr. Wanis said that he’d probably tell them to find something they have in common that’s “much more powerful than just their celebrity status and the infatuation. Because I get the sense it’s an infatuation. I don’t think Lance is in love with her; I think he’s infatuated with it. She’s a young, pretty starlet. She’s sweet and she’s innocent; she hasn’t even grown up. Ashley is growing up, but she’s still a little girl. She’s never had a real solid upbringing, she spent most of her time on TV.”