No Matter What People Say, Beyoncé Leads a Quiet Life

There’s no question—Beyoncé Knowles enjoys a truly ridonkulous lifestyle. What with Jay-Z as your man, hotness as your bod, Sirens as your voice and gold buillon as your pennies, it must feel like the sun rises and sets in your gilt bidet. So don’t let this American Express commercial make you think any differently. Nobody—no matter how radical your ways and off-the-hook your style—should be forced to live like the woman in this minute-long spot. Heck, considering the second-hand motion sickness, fatigue and cramps—what?—we experienced after sitting through the ad, nobody should be forced to watch it, either. (Scratch that, it’s definitely worth a peep.) Does AmEx actually think people want to go directly from the Madrid airport with an obnoxious blonde assistant, only to hop into an impromptu dance class to break a shoe? They won’t even let her visit the Prado! At least in their other celebrity-driven campaigns Ellen DeGeneres gets to chill with exotic animals and Wes Anderson appears a lot cooler than he is.

Now the 26-year-old singer-actress has really started to prove the American Express portrayal wrong. She’s currently in her hometown, er, Paris, kicking back with Jay-Z to celebrate his birthday with an intimate dinner, er, bash that included a delicious dessert, er, “a chorus of strip-tease artists.” According to People, Ms. Knowles jetted in on a red-eye a day after her lover, because she was detained by her performance at “Movies Rock”—5,000 miles away. Once together, the two spent a leisurely day hitting the spa, touring the French capital in a Maybach and dining at L’Avenue.