Wednesday, December 19th

Hillary Clinton unmasked! The former first lady tries to arrest her poll plunge by unleashing her mooks (including Bill’s late-night posse pal Bob Kerrey and the deeply creepy Mark Penn) to spread lies about Obama—the central Clinton campaign message seems to be “Cocaine! Muslim! Cocaine! Muslim!”—and Bill takes a time out from stuffing stockings (ahem!) around the globe (hello, nurse!) to hit the campaign trail, soaking up adulation, collecting phone numbers and diminishing his wife’s stature. Who wants some eggnog? All this holiday cheer is making us long for the cold expanse of January and stacks of de-bulbed Christmas trees left out on the cold sidewalks. … Good thing we have that new unwashed skinny musician keeping us warm or we might just give up and prematurely decamp to Florida (it takes just two glasses now! Two!). Alt-country rocker Teddy Thompson, spawn of British songwriting legends Richard and Linda, feels our pain at his benefit for Darfur Christmas concert at the Highline Ballroom. “I’m doing a song I wrote called ‘Boycotting Christmas,’” he told us in his bewitching British accent. (If any of you men out there want to know the way to a woman’s heart, it runs through the U.K.) “That, for example, is a kind of sad, jokey song,” he elaborated. “It’s not going to be an austere evening or charity event where you have lots of people speaking and bringing us all down. I don’t mean to be flippant about it, but we’re going to have a really fun night and it’s going to benefit people who need it.” Joining Mr. Thompson will be, among others, inveterate smarty-pants journalist Samantha Powers and the talented siblings Wainwright (Rufus and Martha), with whom Mr. Thompson has long hit the holiday singing circuit: “We’ve known each other since we were kids,” he said. “The Wainwrights have done Christmas shows in the past few years, and I’ve sung at those.” And though the event benefits, the charming Mr. Thompson is quick to say he’s no Bono: “I see myself as a poster boy for the average idiot,” he said. “I just saw a program on TV. I don’t claim to be well informed and I haven’t done a ton of research, but I just saw what a lot of other people saw and I thought, ‘That’s awful.’ And it’s so easy for me to do this.” (Note to self: Adopt can-do attitude!) Later, those still yet to experience and then curse the wonders of the office holiday party include the glamorous gals of Syndicate Public Relations, who will unwind with clients named Schrager and Seliger atop the Gramercy Park Hotelwatch out for the flying rats!

[Teddy Thompson & Friends Christmas Show, the Highline Ballroom, 431 West 16th Street, 8 p.m.,; Syndicate holiday party, the Gramercy Park Hotel, 2 Lexington Avenue, invite only]