Meet Wayne Campbell, Sundance Cowboy

0118wayne 0 Meet Wayne Campbell, Sundance Cowboy

At the No Name Saloon on Main Street last night I discovered the breakout star of Sundance this year. His name is Wayne Campbell and he plays himself in the film North Starr, a film about an aspiring Texan rapper, which is a wild card contender for the dramatic competition..

Wayne is a cowboy. He says wants his balls to be “pickled in alcohol.” He showed me his one-piece long john underwear. It was red. All cowboys wear one-piece long johns. They call it a union suit.

Wayne was telling everyone who would listen that he plans to doff the union suit and his boots, too, before he leaves town.

“If you can’t streak at Sundance,” Wayne said, “where else can you streak?”

“I’ll probably do a belly slide down the hill, com’ on.”

Wayne is from West Texas. This is his first time at Sundance.

“It’s alright. It’s people everywhere, but we just started. I got ten more days of fun."

He had already met a group of middle-aged women. Age isn’t an issue for Wayne. He said he’d go into a convalescent home if need be. The table of ladies got a kick out of Wayne.

“I’m a professional,” he said. “This ain’t my first rodeo.”

Had he got any digits?

“My phone’s already topped out as it is.”

Lots of people come to Sundance for the free swag. Not Wayne.

“Did you get your hands on one of those pocket pussies? They got ‘em on every corner down here. I got one. You just walk around the corner and fuck the shit out of it.”

He was kidding.

Was Wayne excited to meet anyone at Sundance?

“I’m excited to meet you, motherfucker,” he said.

On a more serious note, the producer of North Starr, Mark Maccora, said this:

“It’s the biggest thing that’s ever happened to us. I mean the other movies have Ben Kingsley and Wynona Ryder in them. And all kinds of big stars. We don’t have that. We just have a beautiful story that’s told by all these passionate filmmakers.”

Wayne was joshing with someone nearby. He was laughing at a joke he had made. He punched me.

“I’m bringin’ it,” he said. “Com’ on!”

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Veggies4us says:

    what a loser