Wednesday, January 2nd

Twenty-four hours until we know who wins the Iowa caucuses! If Hillary wins, the big plus: the writer’s strike won’t matter anymore because we’ll all be treated to the greatest reality TV show ever, as the sleaze-packed, scandal-scented, dysfunctional marriage program you know and love as The Bill and Hillary Clinton Show will be running every night on all major networks and cable channels for at least the next year, and maybe the next four or eight years! (If you thought Monica was a great guest star during the 1998-99 season, wait till you see who’s in the wings!) Meanwhile, raise your hand if you’re tired of reading about celebrities and socialites’ extended vacations in Aspen and Phuket and Kenya, and what color tunics they’re wearing to ride the elephants. For us regular citizens, that holiday fat will eventually disappear on its own, as we swear off $15 Raspberry Mojitos and start dating a Goldman Sachs nighttime janitor! Tired of watching Elf again with your brother? Looking for something to distract you until Restaurant Week? How’s aboot (as our Canuck pals say) the Dance on Camera Film Festival, which co-curator Joanna Ney of the Film Society of Lincoln Center told us is “really a hybrid. It’s about movement, not strictly speaking dance. … I think it’s more visually oriented people experimenting with dance.” Hmm, this never turns out well for us! But we’re willing to take a chance on Spartacus en pointe! That would be “the Soviet-era ballet made in 1975 and restored digitally just this year, and it has some of the world’s greatest dancers of the time,” said Ms. Ney. Until now, “it’s been available only on bad DVDs,” she said, adding, “It’s a knockout.” Her only worry is the timing: “I probably would’ve preferred it a week later,” she admitted. “[Audiences] are just recovering from New Year’s Eve, and they’re going to come look at Spartacus on the big screen—that will sober them up quickly!”

[Spartacus, 6:15 p.m., Walter Reade Theater, 70 Lincoln Center Plaza,]