Kevin Federline Doth Protest Too Much

This clip features famous ex-husband Kevin Federline performing a scene from tonight’s episode of a show called One Tree Hill. During a screening of this preview footage, rapt heartbeats can’t help but quicken at Mr. Federline’s stagecraft—an almost Shakespearean ability to put the smack down on a female character he bills “retarded.”

[Enter, stage left: Oh, No He Didn’t!]

Yes, yes he did. But a savior alights in the afflicted girl’s loyal B.F.F., who promptly tells Mr. Federline’s character, Jason, a musician of some kind, that he’s just upset because “all the talent left his band.” In retaliation, like a razor so sharp to slice a wanton stare, he’s all like, “Not as upset as I am that you left your granny panties in my bed.”

[A choreographed tussle with the heroic Nathan ensues. Fade to black.]