N.Y. Law Firms Wanna Be Just Like Obama

Mr. McCain should be worried if voters are as fixated on his advanced age as lawyers apparently are. Said a Cravath associate: “[Cravath] would have to be McCain. Older than all get-out, set in its ways, more aggressive than most and not unrelated to torture.”

I’m giving it to Cravath. In refuting the accusation of Hillary-ness, one Cravath associate made a fair point: “Cravath is more like McCain, because just like him, Cravath is less conservative than it seems. Unlike Hillary, who is more.”

Mitt Romney: Sullivan & Cromwell

This was a cakewalk. Said one former S&C associate of similarities between candidate and firm: “Very picture-perfect. Always willing to go with the highest bidder. Smart. Successful. Kind of apolitical to a certain point, driven much more by ambition, power and money.”

A second ex-Sullivan lawyer agreed: “Polished, always saying the right thing—but coming off as a bit shallow.”

The Romney runner-up: Wachtell Lipton. From a former Wachtell lawyer: “Fabulously wealthy, envied and disliked by some competitors, and on both sides of an issue” (alluding to bank mergers in which the firm represented both parties). Another echoed that sentiment: “Mitt Romney, since they have traditionally regarded themselves as outsiders—Jews [in Wachtell’s case], Mormons [in Romney’s case]—who are richer than everyone else.”

Mike Huckabee: Brobeck, Phleger & Harrison

Is he still in the race? Nobody seems to heart Huckabee these days: Most of the lawyers I spoke to forgot to even mention him, and those who did weren’t optimistic.

“Huckabee would be Kirkland & Ellis,” opined one future Big Law associate. “Lots of crazy conservatives in both these parties, and Kirkland’s free market system [of assigning work] seems close to the Fair Tax in some ways.”

At least Kirkland still exists. A former Skadden lawyer was less charitable: “Huckabee is Brobeck, that S.F. firm that blew up after the dot-com crash: makes a big splash, then goes quietly into the night.”

Ron Paul: Greenberg Traurig

“Ron Paul is Greenberg Traurig,” said a current law student and future Big Law summer associate. “Both are completely crazy.”