Hillary Clinton, The Musical

The well-documented grievances of the diehard Hillary Clinton supporters have made their way into the artistic imagination, or at least into a summer class at N.Y.U.’s Tisch School of the Arts. A reader, who goes by the pen name "Sarah Gold," asked if we could see to it that this, this final project from her musical theater workshop, be seen by Ricki Lieberman and Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild, two of the highest-profile Clinton-supporter holdouts on Barack Obama. We’re very happy to oblige.

Here’s a taste:


Are we safe, Barack Hussein? Who’s safe, and who’s sane? When Obama ends his campaign. Who’s practical, He or the Mrs. And full of many, many many, many promises


Who’s the Pres. And who’s the Veep Who wins and who weeps. Many,many,many promises to keep. Too many for someone so green. But she’s still with us on the scene


And here, for those who have the time and endurance, is all of Act 1.


Thunder and Lightning Act One The Campaign staff for Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign meets in a small office in Chicago next to Obama’s home. Chief of Staff Charlie Smart, after interviewing nine choices for Vice- President ,must decide who the V. P. will be and why. He must convince Obama, whom he is to meet in 10 minutes, of the right choice. He enters the office. Sitting at computers and Standing at Smart Boards filled with Graphs and Pie Charts, are: Stephanie Hannah, the Head Strategist, Mary Lilah Boone, the Nationwide Primary Grassroots Organizer And Harry Meanmoney, the Chief Pollster and Chief Fundraising Comptroller. Charlie takes a seat. Scene 1: CHARLIE: Hello team. I need your full attention. In ten minutes I am going to tell the next President of the United States who he is going to choose as his Vice- President. Our job, if you are up to the task,….. is to chart the course of American History and World History for the next 8 years of our future. You want to keep your job don’t you? Of course. We have already eliminated all eight Senators for either….. moral or financial misconduct problems. Oh yes….. , and the one that lied about cheating on the college boards and smoking marry jauana. So the question is this? How do we tell Barack he must get into bed with Hillary? It’s like Thunder and Lightning. Or Oil and Vinegar. Gonna shake things up. Don’t know who’d play second fiddle. CHARLIE cont:. Let’s brainstorm this one. We’ve got 6 minutes. STEPHANIE: We know he can’t keep those thousands of promises he made all by his lonesome…… Eventhough we like Michelle soooo much and pillow talk worked for Reagan. MARY LILAH BOONE: The key is those 60% of women who want to roll over to McCain’s 100 years of war rather than embrace our man. But I’ve got a plan. CHARLIE: Give me your best stuff. HARRY: Wait just a minute. We all need our salaries paid, don’t we? Not to mention the 100 million I need for the media blitz to keep our man Obama on top. He cost us three more times than Hillary just for the 60 superdelegates we had to AMUSE….over to Obama’s side. And I’m not paying Hillary back for the $5 million loan. She’ll just have to sell more books. STEPHANIE: Look Charlie. Honestly. We know it has to be Hillary. She hears what’s going on in America. You saw her on the campaign trail. A few tears here and there. Sincerity. Her resume? Authentic Hard work at Yale. Sidestepping Bill’s frailties And coming out shining. Global diplomacy experience. And best of all. (Both hands in air.) All the experience in Congress and Senate that anyone would need on the HILL…. to be V.P. presiding over Nancy Pelosi and all the other Rovers. (Direction: Stephanie sings the song "Woman of Valor") Song Woman of Valor Earrings of amber, Hear the hopeful voice Says that peace is near May we soon rejoice. She’s a woman of valor Filt’ring the anger The sound of man’s ire Speaking an angel Soon quells the fire. She’s a woman of valor Old floppy disk reCORDS the change in vision Her burning bright woman’s fire of ambition While stumping cross country she’s reaffirming She’s building our lasting hopes and she’s learning Digesting the angst In mother’s troubled heart Daughters and sons On the firing line, part She’ll find for them some safe harbor (Same melody as woman of valor reprise) Earrings of amber, Hear the hopeful voice Says that peace is near May we soon rejoice. She’s a woman of valor She’s calling for peace in ev’ry world faction She’s Adding up the price we pay for inaction. She’s keeping a seasoned eye on bills and plans She’s keeping a reasoned mind on all at hand. Raise a cup of wine Keep it for the Rose The August moon knows. She lifts her hand to the needy. Her torch burns bright On the road to Freedom’s Light. HARRY: Very pretty. But will it bring in the Bucks we need to do the job. She comes in one dollar for every three of his we see. Can I get to that 100 million by September 1. Will Obama accept a partner as strong as she in the popular vote. Won’t she over shadow him? (Insert Harry’s poem without music. Song Three: "Obama’s Raking It In.") Fundraising needs some praising. Fun raking in the coins we’re raising. Students cross the nation’s countryside Hear Hope call them to Obama’s side Obama’s raking it in, Hillary no. Why? Obama climbs to 5O mill Hillary’s riding the side car still Picking up forget-me-nots. A few bucks here, a few bucks not Obama,,s raking it in, Not Hillary. Why? Salt in the wounds without laughter She thought she was a shoe in. We know the last Obama chapter Can’t let her be takin the winnings. He’s raking it in, not Hillary. Why? We tried to support her, But eleven million strayed Look In HER pocketbook, sir. Pay back her 5 G’s , no sir. Obama’s raking it in, not Hillary. Why? CHARLIE: I gotta go. Three minutes. What about the 60% of women that are flopping into McCain’s bed? What about the masses? (Mary Lilah sings her song. "Imagine the future." ) MARY LILAH: Obama accepts the nomination. He can speak to the crowd, Loud as a thunder cloud WE SHALL SEE PEACE WE SHALL SEE CALM We shall see children safe from harm. Are we safe, Barack Hussein? Who’s safe,,and who’s sane? When Obama ends his campaign. Who’s practical, He or the Mrs. And full of many, many many, many promises Who’s the Pres. And who’s the Veep Who wins and who weeps. Many,many,many promises to keep. Too many for someone so green. But she’s still with us on the scene Put the axes to the taxes, Put the wealth in children’s health Bring the soldier’s who’ll take the brunt Back to safe harbor on the homefront. Is the food enough on the table Is there a choice between Cain and Abel? (more) Who’ll be sitting ,front and center. Who’ll be asking Bill the Mentor. Who’ll be voting come November. Who’ll be GLADDENED if we send HER. 60 percent more can come on over Hillary will bring it all together. Charlie: He’s the Ying, She’s the yang. Thunder and Lightning. That’s it G-d’s got something to say about this. Right? Be Back Soon. (Charlie exits and Harry starts changing the pie chart.) (Direction :Lights go black . Office view blocked) (Thunder and lightning is heard in the distance. It gets closer and closer and closer…. .8 Times Flashes of Light spark the stage. 10 times. (Lights go on.) ( All characters in places as at the beginning.) Charlie enters. CHARLIE: It’s a match .Let’s get the fires burning. Hard sell but Obama sees the light. At the convention, he will first let Hillary step up to the microphone to enter into this most unique of marriages in front of thousands cheering to accept her new promotion . Here she is….. Hillary,….The new Dick Cheney elect!!!! All Cheer: Thunder and Lightning Shout for Hope. Shout for Truth Obama,….. Our Crack of Thunder Hillary…… Our Ray of Light Freedom, Freedom, Freedom The end


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