Jeez, Jimmy Buffett really makes us think we should move to the Keys and drink for a living before global warming claims Florida! Whaddya say? Today, the patron saint of golf-playing, scotch-swilling dads everywhere hits Jones Beach, where the Lipitor crowd welcomes him with upraised arms and open hearts. Meanwhile, those of us lobbying for Klonopin are home on the couch, alone with our Chinese takeout and our Olympics withdrawal and our daddy issues. … See ya in September, sweeties, when the Fifteen-Day Week will be back with some important fashion tips!
[Nikon at Jones Beach Theater, 8 p.m., http://www.ticketmaster.com]