Remember way back in April when everyone went flying into a tizzy over those Vanity Fair photos of little ol’ Miley Cyrus hugging a bed sheet to her naked, 15-year-old chest? Consider this a minor addendum to that controversy. Disney—the same globo-corp that complained Annie Leibovitz had manipulated their star into those provocative poses—now gives us “Concert Candy,” a product tailor-made to elicit dirty thoughts in the minds of helpless sweet-tooths. The little gummy candies come in “guitar and microphone shapes!” the package claims, yet behold the flesh-colored instrument angling toward Ms. Montana’s head, and gaze upon its bulbous end. Look too at the little microphone Hannah grips in her hand, and the twinkle in Miley’s eye as she opens her mouth to sing. Need we say more?
If, like us, you think Miley knew more or less exactly what she was doing with her Vanity Fair spread, it’s probably safe to say she knows the deal here, even if the execs at Disney wouldn’t know a thinly-veiled sexual allusion if it hit them in the face (or appeared on the cover of their own movie). Of course, since she’s only 15 and all, Miley knows the importance of taking things slowly. Hence, the helpful label on the package, “Individual Pouches for Portion Control.”