Michael Lohan Is Really Going to Go Through With This Boxing Thing

As we told you last week, 48-year-old Michael Lohan has offered his sometimes-estranged self up for auction in service to a good cause. Mr. Lohan invited interested parties to bid on the opportunity to face him in a three-round boxing match at the annual Long Island Fight For Charity, and he has finally found his opponent, according to Newsday.

The lucky winner? Robert Venero, the 40-year-old president and CEO of Future Tech Enterprise in Holbrook, Suffolk County. Mr. Venero, who is paying $20,000 to participate in the match, told the press, “I figured they were going to put me up against some overweight middle-aged CEO.” Alas, no such luck!

Mr. Venero, who is 5’8″ and 170 pounds, plans to prepare for his 15 minutes by training with Tony Fortunato, a former professional boxer. For his part, Mr. Lohan (5’10”, 160 pounds) insists, “I have studied martial arts for seven years.” Meanwhile, fellow dysfunctional coat tail-rider Stephen Baldwin, who will act as a judge, “thinks that his buddy Lohan will do fine in the ring.” But, he added, “Bob is no slouch.” The heat is on! 

The match will take place on Nov. 24 at the Long Island Hilton in Melville, NY. We’ve noticed that the other members of the Lohan clan have studiously avoided comment.