It’s 2 AM and you awake with a jerk, alone in your fully-lit apartment and still on the couch. On TV, the credits of some movie you’ve already seen a billion times are scrolling by. It feels like rock bottom. And we know, because we’re just like you: single.
Need a movie to keep you company until you literally can’t keep your eyes open? Join us tonight when we pass out to Jerry Maguire [starting @ 1:10 a.m. on Starz]
Why we’ll try to stay up and watch it: In the trailer for Role Models, Paul Rudd tells Elizabeth Banks: “You complete me. You had me at hello.” Everyone watching the trailer immediately laughs knowingly. The reason? Jerry Maguire is the modern day version of Casablanca.
Stop giving us that look. Cameron Crowe’s script is seemingly effortless in the way it comes up with iconic lines of dialogue. One after the other, they come streaming out of the movie like water from a busted pipe. While Jerry Maguire might not amount to a hill of beans-it’s too long and fairly overcooked in the final act-it is as ingrained in our subconscious as any movie to come out in the last twelve years.
It’s also a pretty good time. The story of a bitter sports agent who finds his heart and his soul mate, has enough to keep both men and women entertained for nearly its entire running time. Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise… nasally and blustery. He’s a perfect on-screen visage for Super Agent Jerry Maguire. As Jerry’s The One, Renee Zellweger is wonderful. We might take issue with some of her performances in recent years, but in Jerry Maguire she’s endearing, warm and loveable. Seriously. We still have a crush on her character today.
When we’ll probably fall asleep: We simply love when Tom Cruise acts like he’s drunk. It frees him as an actor, making him more biting and less self-aware that he is Tom Cruise. In Jerry Maguire, Mr. Cruise’s piece de resistance occurs 65 minutes in at 2:15 a.m. while he’s talking to Ms. Zellweger’s on-screen son, Ray (the criminally adorable Jonathan Lipnicki). Jerry is trying have a heart-to-heart, but Ray just keeps asking him to go to the zoo. Finally, the agent snaps: “Ray, the zoo? You know, the fucking zoo’s closed.” The only thing funnier than Tom Cruise drunk? Tom Cruise cursing at a child.