Your Chinese Democracy Will Come With a Side of Dr. Pepper

This are very anxious times, people. The biggest election in a generation is a little more than two weeks away. The global economy is teetering on the edge of the abyss. The housing market is slumping hard. In the midst of such crises, Americans want to know—they deserve to know—will Dr. Pepper make good on their promise? Will each and every one of us get a free can of soda with the release of Guns ‘N’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy next month? For once, things seem relatively stable over at Camp GNR. Though Democracy’s release date was pushed back two days to November 25, Best Buy (the record’s sole retailer) is already taking pre-orders, and there’s even cover-art and a track-list to pore over. If the album hits stores before year’s end, we’re owed some pop, damn it.

And pop we shall have… According to MTV, Dr. Pepper has confirmed plans for the give-away campaign, though don’t expect the things to start falling from the sky a month from now. Nope, the Interweb is involved. “People will go on Dr Pepper’s Web site and we will send them a coupon for a free one,” a Dr. Pepper spokesman explained. “It’s going to be real easy.” That’s all the company had to offer at the moment. Dr. Pepper, smart soda manufacturer that it is, wants to wait until Axl’s people officially confirm the November 25th release date (which they amazingly haven’t done yet) before they offer any further details. But at least for now, we’ve got one less thing to worry about. Our soda is safe.