Sarah Palin: Northern Exposure

sarah palin 0 Sarah Palin: Northern ExposureNow that the election is finally (finally!) over, we can rest easy knowing that Sarah Palin will return to the backwoods of Alaska never to be heard from again. Ha! As if! The Alaskan governor has come too far and gained too much notoriety to just simply accept running a non-continental state. As Tina Fey so hilarious stated last weekend, Ms. Palin is never going back. But while we aren’t sure if the most polarizing figure in the country will ever become the “White Oprah” (don’t you have to be even moderately likeable to accomplish that?), Ms. Palin could easily have a ginormously successful television career if she so wanted.

Now that the election is finally (finally!) over, we can rest easy knowing that Sarah Palin will return to the backwoods of Alaska never to be heard from again. Ha! As if! The Alaskan governor has come too far and gained too much notoriety to just simply accept running a non-continental state. As Tina Fey so hilarious stated last weekend, Ms. Palin is never going back. But while we aren’t sure if the most polarizing figure in the country will ever become the “White Oprah” (don’t you have to be even moderately likeable to accomplish that?), Ms. Palin could easily have a ginormously successful television career if she so wanted. That is, at least until 2010 when she starts her presidential campaign in earnest. Here are four shows that would benefit from the addition of the former Vice Presidential candidate.

Saturday Night Live

This is an obvious one. Nearly 17 million viewers watch Sarah Palin’s appearance on Saturday Night Live, and if it wasn’t for her emergence during the campaign, we have a feeling the most talked about show of the year wouldn’t have been talked about at all. Lorne Michaels is reportedly looking for female cast members in an effort to offset the loss of series MVP Amy Poehler. We already know Ms. Palin is good at reading cue cards, so she seems like a natural fit. At the very least, she’d be funnier than Victoria Jackson ever was.

24

Despite being a show made by right-wingers and featuring enough torture to make Dick Cheney blush, 24 has actually been quite bullish on the Republican Party. While they never come out and say it, most of the bureaucratic assholes that Jack Bauer has to deal with on a yearly basis appear to be Republicans. Or maybe we’re projecting. Either way, who wouldn’t get a kick out of seeing Ms. Palin yell that Jack Bauer has gone “rogue”?

Lost

This could work perfectly! Ms. Palin is an expert hunter and she looks great in a bathing suit. Plus! She already has a Sawyer-esque nickname, though we think in addition to “Caribou Barbie”, he’d also call her “Glasses”. But best of all, she might be the only person on earth who can rival Benjamin Linus when it comes to passive-aggressive manipulation.

Jurrassic Fight Club

Just kidding, Sarah. We know dinosaurs didn’t exist.