What’s the Secret of Seven Pounds?

Despite an incredibly mawkish trailer, we’re highly intrigued by Will Smith’s latest sure-to-be hit, Seven Pounds. What is the deal with this movie? A month away from its release and we know scarcely anything about it. We were hoping for some answers when Mr. Smith and his co-star Rosario Dawson appeared with Oprah Winfrey late last week, but we had no such luck. The trio discussed Seven Pounds in very superficial terms, hailing it as "dark", "excruciating" and filled with "loss". According to Ms. Winfrey, we have to see it for ourselves. Ugh! Be more vague, Oprah! Thanks to IMDB, here’s what we do know: Mr. Smith plays Ben Thomas, an IRS agent who is haunted by his past. In an effort to make amends he tries to help seven strangers, including Ms. Dawson’s Emily, a woman with a heart condition. When Ben falls in love with Emily it predictably complicates matters. Much has been made about the twist ending of the film, and there are shockingly few internet spoilers bouncing around cyberspace. So! Here are our best guesses at spoiling it for you. 

The M. Night Shyamalan ending 

Premise: Ben is really a ghost.

Chances: None. As Ms. Dawson said during the Oprah Winfrey interview, she thought Seven Pounds was going to "have some weird M. Night Shayamlan ending," but was happy to be proven wrong. Sounds like somebody didn’t like The Happening

The Hancock ending

Premise: Ben is really a superhuman immortal that has been married to Charlize Theron for the past 3000 years.

Chances: None. However, that is the way Hancock actually ended. For real. And the scary thing is… it actually worked! Just file this under further proof that Will Smith can do no wrong.

The likely ending

Premise: OK, deep breath! Ben killed seven people earlier in his life (we’ll assume while drunk driving). As punishment, he decides to commit suicide and donate his organs to seven people who really need them. However after he falls in love with Emily, he has second thoughts about going through with the plan. Ben tells Emily his true motivations and she predictably freaks and dumps him. Crestfallen, he realizes the best way to show Emily that he truly loves her is by giving away his heart. (In this case, literally.) Ben dies, allowing Emily to live. Cue the waterworks and poignant Rosario Dawson voiceover!

Chances: Very high. We don’t mean to toot our own horns, but we think this scenario seems incredibly plausible.

Seven Pounds hits theaters on December 19th.