E-mails I Sent the Day of the ‘Miracle on the Hudson’

11

I always thought a plane being able to do that was a myth, like Santa Claus. Have you seen the video of the terrorist hijackers in Ethiopia trying it? Not pretty. The evildoer dips the wing into the water and it’s, see ya plane, see ya terrorists, see ya nice people on board.

 

12

I think I whacked it to Kate Nelligan from Eye of the Needle. May have whacked to the book version, too.

 

13

 Reminds me of that warm, knowing look the Glenn Close character sends across the room in The Big Chill. Agree, agree, loathsome movie about loathsome people, but her character’s so boneable. I’ll watch it again two more times before I croak.

 

14

Before the Civil War, what was the most dangerous place in America? Scroll down for the answer.

Kansas.

 

15

What the hell happened to my 30s? New Year’s Eve 2000 feels like a few weeks ago. And the thing about blowing off steam at 40 is, yes, you get your balls back, but if you’re like me, you tend to overdo it and you can’t feel your genitals for three days so what’s the point in getting your balls back metaphorically? Really need to reread The Hardness Factor and stick with it. I really should have slammed on the brakes by 2006.

 

16

This is a bad symbolic day for the evildoers. Shows how badass we are: Guy landed a plane in the water right by the West Side Highway, in same flight path as those planes.

 

17

Trying to think if anything’s ever happened in my lifetime that everyone agreed was a miracle. 

 

18

There’s that nice scene in Cat People with Annette O’Toole in the pool: Big round yabbos with big red succulent nipples. Michael McKean gets to bone her.

 

19

What are the odds of an experienced pilot like this guy landing in the water like that? One out of 30 times? Hundred? Five hundred? Like how many times in a row could this guy get it right? Side note: Figure I could probably watch Office Space two, three times a year, for the rest of my life.

 

20

I’m sorry but I am thrilled and feeling patriotic about the miracle—if that’s O.K. with you. Apparently not!

 

21
Maybe a Brit in World War II could have done something that heroic and cool. Not now. France? Ha. Also, what timing: Five days before a new prez? We’re obviously living in God’s country. Don’t think the evildoers don’t know that. Bad day for the terrorists. Case closed.

 

22

 I was six, seven blocks away when the miracle occurred. Lots of other coincidences I won’t get into, but I’m afraid this is the closest thing to a religious experience I may ever have so I’m milking it. Unless you count the first time I did acid, at the Omega fest back in ’87. Nothing big, the usual stuff, thought I was God