For Sale: The Next David Fincher Movie

fincher For Sale: The Next David Fincher MovieIf you’re a movie studio looking to get into the David Fincher business, now’s your chance! Paramount Pictures, the studio behind Mr. Fincher’s 13-Oscar nominee The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, has allowed the rights to what could have been his next film, Torso, to lapse. So if you’re looking for a serial killer movie that’s budgeted at over $100 million and fronted by a meticulous perfectionist who is prone to spouting off at studio executives, get out your checkbook.

Based on the graphic novel by Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Andreyeko, Torso has been on Mr. Fincher’s radar since January of 2006. It tells the story of post-Untouchables Elliot Ness and his exploits in the treasury department while looking for a serial killer who dumps his victim’s torsos into the river. (Note: Gross.) However, how much of the graphic novel would make it to the screen remains to be seen. Mr. Fincher told MTV in December that his film would be a "complete reimagining" of the source material and he likened the structure to that of Citizen Kane and Rashomon. Matt Damon was circling the project to star as Elliot Ness with Casey Affleck along for the ride too, so long as he’s done making that documentary about Joaquin Phoenix’s hilarious rap career.

We’d be totally fine if the web of problems around Torso never gets untangled. Not that the film doesn’t sound highly interesting–who wouldn’t want to see what Elliot Ness was like after he took down Al Capone?–but it just feels like a waste of Mr. Fincher’s time. After Zodiac and Se7en, what more could he possibly bring to the serial killer genre? We guess it could be looked at as Mr. Fincher’s first attempt at a comic book movie, but that doesn’t get us very excited. And besides, Fight Club already feels like a comic book movie. We have no doubt that a Mr. Fincher-directed Torso starring Matt Damon would be awesome, but we’d rather see him try something else … like that bananas sex comedy where Keanu Reeves stars as a chef. Seriously. Sign us up right now for whatever that crazy movie is supposed to be.