Opening this Weekend: Hathaway & Hudson Attack! Plus, a Super Scary Horror Flick

We might have to start calling this "Old Timers Weekend." Last year at this time, the Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman weepy The Bucket List topped the box office with close to $20 million in receipts. This weekend, it’s expected that the national rollout of Clint Eastwood’s grandpa vigilante saga, Gran Torino, could very well take top honors. In fact, the buzz is that when all is said and done, Gran Torino might be the highest grossing picture of Mr. Eastwood’s lengthy career. We saw the film a few weeks back—think: Shane by way of Archie Bunker—and, honestly, you could do a whole lot worse with your moviegoing dollar. However, if a racist retiree doesn’t float your boat, maybe one of these two genre films will. Here’s handy guide to the weekends new releases.

The Unborn

What’s the story: To borrow a phrase from David Fincher: we’d rather have cigarettes put out in our eyes than see The Unborn. It might not even be a bad movie (though we have our suspicions), but we can’t even make it through the trailer without almost bursting into tears. This thing looks scary. A young girl (Cloverfield‘s Odette Yustman) is haunted by dreams of her unborn twin brother, who just happens to be some sort of demonic creature that dates all the way back to Nazi Germany. Gary Oldman co-stars as a rabbi (is there anything this man can’t do?), but from the look of things, we expect him to die some sort of horrific death before the credits roll. The Unborn comes from the mind of The Dark Knight screenwriter David S. Goyer, which could be considered a good thing until you remember that he’s also the guy who wrote Jumper.

Who should see it: People way braver than us.

Bride Wars

What’s the story: Soon-to-be Oscar nominee Anne Hathaway and former Oscar nominee Kate Hudson star as two best friends who turn into vindictive combatants when they inexplicably schedule their weddings on the exact same day. Are you cringing yet? Shockingly, there are very talented people involved with Bride Wars: Saturday Night Live funny woman Casey Wilson co-wrote the script, while Gary Winick, the director of the charmingly fun 13 Going on 30 (its insulting ending notwithstanding), is behind the camera. Still, the mostly negative reviews seem to confirm our suspicions, even if they are laced with the faintest of faint praise. As our esteemed colleague so eloquently put it, "[Bride Wars] was approximately 37 percent less horrifying than we had guessed."

Who should see it: Women who post on TheKnot.com.