Martin Scorsese directing a biopic based on the life of Frank Sinatra feels about as inevitable as some hacky entertainment reporter introducing this bit of information with “start spreading the news!” Think of Ol’ Blue Eyes as Marty’s Moby Dick; he’s been circling the man since 2000, when it was reported that Mr. Scorsese was planning a Dean Martin biopic with Tom Hanks–as–Deano and John Travolta–as–Frank (thank goodness this nightmare project fell through). We aren’t exactly sure when Mr. Scorsese will shoot Sinatra, but expect it to happen sometime in the next couple of years—he’s currently working on Silence(, which supposedly stars Daniel Day-Lewis, Gael Garcia Bernal and Benicio Del Toro); I Heard You Paint Houses, with Robert De Niro; and the forever-gestating Teddy Roosevelt biopic, with Leonardo DiCaprio. About Mr. Scorsese’s recent muse: If some unsubstantiated comments on Nikki Finke’s gossip blog are to be believed, Mr. DiCaprio has already been tapped to play Hoboken’s favorite son. Naturally, we aren’t surprised—and we actually think Leo will serve Frank well—but there have to be better choices out there, right? Here are four suggestions.
Why he should be in it: At this point, no one is better suited for a 1960s period piece than Mr. Hamm. He has all the necessary tools to play someone like Frank Sinatra—toughness, bravado and an underlying sadness—and he’ll look great in a suit whilst doing it.
Why he won’t be: As much as we love him, Mr. Hamm might be a tad too subtle to play someone as larger-than-life as Frank.
Why he should be in it: Dye his hair black and Mr. Baker actually looks exactly like the Chairman of the Board. Television’s Mentalist has that Sinatra swagger down cold and is charming to an almost irrational degree. This could work.
Why he won’t be: He’s television’s Mentalist. Need we say more?
Why he should be in it: Mr. Franco needs a career intervention. He recently passed on Christopher Nolan’s sure-to-be awesome Inception to star in a medieval stoner comedy with Danny McBride from director David Gordon Green. For an actor with so much talent, why must he wallow in such nonsense? And, for the record, Mr. Franco would make a great Sinatra: the tough-but-soft dichotomy he’d bring to the role has us excited already.
Why he won’t be: He’s too busy wrecking his career to star in anything good.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Why he should be in it: The biggest thing Mr. Rhys Meyers has going for him is his build. He’s skinny and wiry like Sinatra was in his youth. He also has the Rat Pack attitude down cold. Plus, the dude played Elvis Presley in Elvis and a David Bowie–like rocker in Velvet Goldmine so you know he can act like a singer. Sign us up!
Why he won’t be: As good a choice as he is, we have a feeling Mr. Scorsese will want to save Mr. Rhys Meyers for his Mick Jagger biopic. Now that’s something we’d pay to see.
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